Thomas and Frank begin a new journey of ranking every single film ever made from best to worst in one comprehensive list. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
-----
Meet Your Double Feature is a double-blind movie review podcast hosted by brothers Thomas and Frank. Thomas is an event producer and broadcaster from Chicago. Frank is an independent filmmaker living in Los Angeles.
-----
For full episodes, written reviews and more, visit our website at https://www.MeetYourDoubleFeature.com/
For more information on where to watch "Nate and Moriah in Venice" (which Frank co-produced!), visit https://www.sardonicmp.com/
Follow us on Socials at:
https://www.instagram.com/meetyourdoublefeature/
https://bsky.app/profile/mydfpod.bsky.social
Music for tonight's show licensed through Soundstripe
"The Shakedown" by Dresden, The Flamingo
"Soul Tonic" by Cast of Characters
"Sophistikitty" by Cast of Characters
(00:00) Intro
(05:31) Hot Fuzz (2007)
(08:58 Angel Heart (1987)
(12:52) 48 Hrs. (1982)
(17:33) The Big Short (2015)
(23:33) Highlander (1986)
(34:13) Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones (2002)
(50:47) Who Am I? (1998)
(57:25) Sailor Moon R: The Movie (1993)
(01:03:56) A Cinderella Story (2004)
(01:06:07) Hercules (1997)
(01:14:08) Wrap Up
00:00:08
Hello and welcome to Meet Your Double Feature.
00:00:10
My name is Thomas, joined as always by my brother Frank.
00:00:13
Frank, how are you? I usually say I'm excited, so
00:00:18
I'm gonna say it again. I'm excited, yeah.
00:00:20
He's gonna say it again. He's identified a pattern.
00:00:22
He's sticking to it. Frank is excited.
00:00:25
I'm also excited. And we have good reason because
00:00:27
tonight, Frank, for the first time we're debuting like a
00:00:30
supplementary series on our channel.
00:00:32
This is not our usual meet your double feature style
00:00:35
programming. We are calling this new series
00:00:37
quote ranking Every movie ever made.
00:00:41
Yep. Re mem, Re mem, remember, we do
00:00:46
anyway. No, no, we should probably get a
00:00:51
better one than that, essentially, just to set the
00:00:54
stage for how this idea came about.
00:00:56
Frank, I'm sure you're familiar with things like the American
00:00:59
Film Institute's, like, top 100 movies of all time, right?
00:01:03
Or like IMDb has the, like, top 250 narrative films.
00:01:07
You've seen those lists. Yeah.
00:01:09
Yeah, totally. So as we all know, the two
00:01:13
things that all of those other lists have in common is that the
00:01:17
people who wrote them are cowards, and they're woefully
00:01:19
incomplete. That's what that's what everyone
00:01:22
says about that. That's what everybody says.
00:01:24
They say, sure, top 100 movies, Child's play.
00:01:27
But what about every single movie of all time, ranked from
00:01:31
best to worst definitively by two people who know who know
00:01:35
better? Yes, forever and always.
00:01:37
It will never change. Forever and always.
00:01:40
It'll never change. Yeah.
00:01:41
What's its? What's an as its place can never
00:01:44
move. That's it.
00:01:46
So that is essentially the idea for our show today.
00:01:48
Normally we talk about movies that neither of us have seen
00:01:50
previously. Today we're doing the exact
00:01:52
opposite. We are going to be ranking every
00:01:54
feature film ever released from top to bottom, best to worst, in
00:01:59
completely random order. The way I've set this up, Frank,
00:02:02
which I've explained to you off, Mike, but I think it's still a
00:02:04
little bit unclear, is I took a list, 'cause you and I, we're in
00:02:08
that group of people who will actually just write down the
00:02:10
name of every movie that we watch.
00:02:12
Which is super helpful for this because it means that we have a
00:02:14
list going back over a decade of every movie that you and I have
00:02:18
ever seen. So it doesn't include things we
00:02:20
watched and we were younger than that.
00:02:21
But I do have a list pulled up in front of me right now of just
00:02:24
to start 1500 plus films that we can pull from in order to kick
00:02:30
off our list of the best movies ever made or every movie ever
00:02:34
made ranked from best to worst. Yeah, yeah.
00:02:37
You know what? I actually, I, I was lying
00:02:39
before about being excited. I wasn't then, but I am now.
00:02:47
You know, when we started this, I thought, God, this is stupid.
00:02:49
But now, Now. Now you know what?
00:02:52
Now I'm into it. I like this idea.
00:02:54
Now I'm into it. Now he's into it.
00:02:55
OK, He's understanding the premise.
00:02:57
This is good. Yeah.
00:02:58
So the way it'll work is that I have the list pulled up in front
00:03:00
of me. It is alphabetized and it has
00:03:03
1600 plus entries on it. I will say there's a lot of
00:03:07
random duplicates in there because Frank, if you or I saw
00:03:11
the same movie, but like wrote down the title in a slightly
00:03:13
different way, I don't think it removed those from the list when
00:03:16
I was trimming it down. But in general, we have almost
00:03:19
1500 to start with. And what I'm going to do is I'm
00:03:21
going to have Frank give me a random number.
00:03:23
It's going to use a random number generator.
00:03:25
And then whatever number he lands on, we'll go to that point
00:03:27
on the list. And for this first pick, because
00:03:31
it's the only one, we're going to be temporarily deciding the
00:03:34
best film of all time. Wow.
00:03:36
It's happening right as we speak.
00:03:38
You know, let's put it in #2 let's just put it in #2 to start
00:03:40
off. Just put it in #2 well, what if
00:03:43
it is? What if it actually pulls the
00:03:44
best movie of all time? That's well, we don't know.
00:03:46
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
00:03:48
So here's again. We're ranking every movie ever
00:03:51
made, not just the top 100, not even just the top 1000.
00:03:55
All of them, yeah. If you've seen a movie ever,
00:03:58
it's going on this list. Exactly, And we're going to get
00:04:01
through it. No one's ever completed this
00:04:03
task before. I think others have tried, but
00:04:06
we're going to get through it by going about an hour at a time
00:04:09
every once in a while. But sometimes when we.
00:04:13
Feel like sometimes when we have time to do so.
00:04:16
You're welcome. You're welcome.
00:04:21
Somebody had to do it. Somebody had to do it.
00:04:23
It's going to be us. So what I'm going to do is I'm
00:04:25
going to put 60 minutes on the clock starting now for us to
00:04:29
rank our first batch of movies. And we'll see how many we end up
00:04:32
with at the end of that first hour.
00:04:34
And if it feels like we've covered enough for an episode,
00:04:35
we'll cut it there. This is sort of a experiment for
00:04:38
us. We're going to see how it goes.
00:04:40
But Frank, right now, why don't you do a random number, Jen, for
00:04:43
me and let me know which movie we're starting with?
00:04:46
OK, hit me with that random number generator beat.
00:04:50
But do bop boop. That was terrible.
00:04:52
Let's just, let's just. Maybe I should have just like
00:04:58
left room to put music in jeopardy or going to fix.
00:05:02
That and I went but you. I went full.
00:05:04
Musical improv, full scat man on us.
00:05:07
OK, first first number. Here we go.
00:05:10
First one. It is 614. 614 All right, I'm
00:05:16
going to pull up the list and see what is currently labeled
00:05:18
the number 614. All right #614 temporarily the
00:05:25
best movie of all time, by virtue of the fact that it's the
00:05:27
only one on the list, is 2007's Hot Fuzz.
00:05:31
Hot Fuzz, which is the middle of a trilogy of movies made by,
00:05:42
what is it? Simon Pegg and Nick Frost,
00:05:44
right. The comedy movies that started
00:05:47
with Shaun of the Dead. What were you going to say?
00:05:51
I was just. I think it's it's the Cornetto
00:05:53
trilogy is what it's commonly referred to.
00:05:56
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.
00:05:57
So it's a it's a series of three comedy films that don't have any
00:06:01
overlap in characters or premise, but they have a lot of
00:06:04
the same actors in them and have like a general tone that's
00:06:06
always the same. As I recall, Hot Fuzz is like a
00:06:10
satire of 90s like police action movies.
00:06:14
Like there's a lot of send UPS in it to stuff like Point Break
00:06:18
and just a ton of other like police procedural action films.
00:06:21
So very odd choice to be labeled as the best movie of all time.
00:06:25
But right now it is by virtue of our premise, it is.
00:06:30
Until we tell you otherwise, that's the best movie ever.
00:06:34
You know what though? I'm sure that movie, like people
00:06:37
do love that movie. I'm I'm sure it's in a lot of
00:06:38
people's like top ten at least. A lot of people love Hot Fuzz.
00:06:42
Yeah, When I was picturing how this would go, I thought we
00:06:44
would either get like Jurassic Park, like something really
00:06:47
broad, or just like a super obscure movie that one of us had
00:06:50
to watch for like a film school class or something.
00:06:53
Something about Hot Fuzz is like breaking my brain.
00:06:55
I'm like how is this the one? Yeah.
00:07:00
And so and we don't know whose list that was pulled from,
00:07:03
right. This is just a a combination of
00:07:06
us. OK.
00:07:07
I put both of ours together. So you and I, to elaborate on
00:07:10
that a little bit, I think it was like 2014.
00:07:14
We just were like, well, wouldn't it be cool if we wrote
00:07:15
down a list of like everything that we watched?
00:07:18
And so we've both been doing that for the past like 12 years
00:07:21
or so. And so I took all of that, put
00:07:24
all of it into one Excel spreadsheet, and then just
00:07:26
removed as many duplicate entries as I could.
00:07:29
And now this is like a combined list.
00:07:31
So there's things in here that only one of us would have
00:07:33
already seen. OK.
00:07:35
Yeah, that's so. We're going to have to rely on
00:07:37
each other's expertise, although in this case we have both seen
00:07:40
Hot Fuzz, so that's a good start.
00:07:42
Yes, that is, that is wow, best movie, Yeah.
00:07:46
There's nothing to deliberate here because there's nothing
00:07:48
else on the list yet. So Hot Fuzz uncontested.
00:07:50
Best film of all time. All right, Should we just stop
00:07:53
here? We figured it out, everyone.
00:07:54
Should we just? That's the end of the series.
00:07:56
It was all a yeah, it was all a ruse.
00:07:59
Go watch Hot Fuzz. Thank you.
00:08:01
Go watch Hot Fuzz, we'll see you next time.
00:08:03
No, so that's the simplest entry.
00:08:06
As soon as we have a second one, then it becomes a deliberation.
00:08:08
So I will say I think we both like Hot Fuzz.
00:08:11
I think it is a fun action comedy that even like you said
00:08:15
in a larger list would probably still rank pretty highly.
00:08:18
But I think what we should do now is spin the wheel again.
00:08:22
Spin the wheel, It's not a wheel.
00:08:23
Spin the number generator again and then see what else pops up
00:08:26
to contest Hot Fuzz. All right, play me that spin
00:08:29
that wheel music. Play the spin the wheel music,
00:08:32
the doop bop boop bop daboop. Yep, 77. 7777 OK locating OK
00:08:52
number 77 on the not on the list, but number 77 in my
00:08:55
database is 1987's Angel Heart, which I think is a movie Frank
00:09:02
you have not seen. I was going to say tell me more.
00:09:05
I don't know what that is. So this is already actually kind
00:09:08
of a hard decision to make because Angel Heart's a really
00:09:10
good film. It is a Mickey Rourke movie from
00:09:13
back when Mickey Rourke was like a heartthrob guy.
00:09:17
You know, I don't think he held on to that for long, but this
00:09:19
was kind of in his like, original career peak in the 80s.
00:09:22
It is a story, I believe adapted from a book that is like a noir
00:09:28
horror film kind of about Mickey Rourke as like a private
00:09:32
investigator. It's got a very messed up plot,
00:09:36
but in like an interesting way. It gets into some really dark
00:09:38
places. I'm hesitant to even get too far
00:09:41
into it because I think it could spoil the movie.
00:09:43
But it's a really, really good mystery film.
00:09:46
Like genuinely interesting. Really like thick atmosphere and
00:09:51
a really good but brief appearance from Robert De Niro
00:09:54
which I was not expecting when I turned on the movie.
00:09:56
Oh wow, that was a really good succinct pitch for that movie.
00:10:00
Actually, you know what, number one, it's above Hot Fuzz.
00:10:07
Sounds pretty good. Like I would say, even though
00:10:13
you haven't seen it, I think you would like this more than Hot
00:10:16
Fuzz because it's, I don't know, they're so hard to compare.
00:10:20
They're such different films. But I think that in its own
00:10:22
niche, Angel Heart is like kind of uncontested.
00:10:25
It's like one of my favorite movies of this type that I've
00:10:27
seen. Hot Fuzz is good, but all I
00:10:29
think of when I think of that movie is like, well, I prefer
00:10:31
Shawn of the Dead. Same, I even I even prefer the
00:10:35
third one in that trilogy. I think it's there's so many
00:10:38
similar titles. It's like at World's End.
00:10:41
Now that might be a Pirates of the Caribbean.
00:10:43
I think it's just called World's End.
00:10:44
World's End. Something like that.
00:10:45
I I prefer both of those. Like of the three, Hot Fuzz is
00:10:49
my least favorite. Hot Fuzz is kind of long and I
00:10:52
think a lot of people really like it.
00:10:53
It saves a lot of its build up for the third act and then kind
00:10:55
of explodes into this like giant action set piece and it's like
00:10:58
again, both really good movies. Would recommend them to anybody.
00:11:02
But Angel heart. I think even you would prefer,
00:11:05
even though I know you haven't yet seen it.
00:11:06
So Hot Fuzz, get off that pedestal.
00:11:09
Your time in the sun is over. You're.
00:11:12
At the bottom of the list now, buddy, how far you have fallen.
00:11:16
Worst movie. Of all time.
00:11:18
Oh this is so stupid. No, this is what's so
00:11:24
interesting about this show the the stakes can change, just on a
00:11:27
dime. I mean, how often is it that you
00:11:29
go from being the best movie of all time to the worst that
00:11:33
quickly? Yeah.
00:11:34
The industry's passed. Hot Fuzz.
00:11:35
Yeah, it didn't. Do anything wrong?
00:11:37
It didn't change. It's not 2007 anymore.
00:11:41
Yeah, really. That's the problem is that Hot
00:11:43
Fuzz did not keep up with the times.
00:11:45
It's like the movie finished and then they just never went back
00:11:47
to it. Yeah, they just never made it a
00:11:49
different movie after that. So yeah.
00:11:51
It's like they didn't even consider putting 80s heartthrob
00:11:54
Mickey Rourke in the movie. Did they see Iron Man 2?
00:11:57
I mean, come on. You know the bit where he's got
00:12:02
the whips and he's whipping on the racetrack, we remember.
00:12:06
That's that's probably on here. Let's see, let's what if?
00:12:09
What if I hit this and we land on Iron Man 2 next?
00:12:12
What are what are the odds of that?
00:12:13
That would be crazy. I'll say right now, if Iron Man
00:12:16
2 comes up right after this, it's going to number one just
00:12:18
because of the whips on the racetrack.
00:12:20
Just because of the whips on the racetrack, that's.
00:12:22
And we all remember that scene from the trailer.
00:12:24
It's the only part of Iron Man 2 you remember.
00:12:29
Anyway, that's our first two entries.
00:12:30
I think we do need to spin that wheel which is not a wheel.
00:12:34
Spin that wheel. Yeah, spin that list #20. #20 we
00:12:41
are sticking near the top. I think it's going to be a movie
00:12:43
that starts with an A if I had to guess.
00:12:46
Come on down. Come on down.
00:12:48
Oh, actually we're we're above a we're into movies that start
00:12:51
with numbers. So entry #20 is 1980 twos 48
00:12:56
hours. Oh boy.
00:12:58
Which is. You haven't seen this either,
00:13:00
have you? I don't think so.
00:13:02
OK, guess it's up to me then. 48 Hours is a buddy cop movie with
00:13:10
Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy. It was, I think, the movie that
00:13:15
launched Eddie Murphy's film career.
00:13:18
He'd already been on SNL and he was doing stand up, but I want
00:13:20
to say 48 Hours was like his film breakout that led to his
00:13:24
run of really successful comedies in that decade.
00:13:27
I'll say I watched this as part of a Nick Nolte thon.
00:13:31
I think I'm the only person to ever do a Nick Nolte thon, but
00:13:33
this was in there. I don't recall thinking it was
00:13:36
very good from like a modern eye.
00:13:39
You know what I mean? Like it clearly had influence at
00:13:41
the time, but like going back to 48 hours now, it doesn't really
00:13:45
hit very strongly. OK, yeah, no, I'm I'm
00:13:48
remembering you that you did a Nick Nolte marathon and and that
00:13:51
was that was certainly a choice, but.
00:13:54
It was usually the Nick Nolte thought started because Nick
00:13:58
Nolte is an actor whose name you've probably heard.
00:14:00
I'm guessing if you're listening right now you can't even recall
00:14:02
his face because despite being in popular American films for
00:14:07
the past like 40 years, none of them are good.
00:14:10
Like he's like the most talented actor to Neverland in a good
00:14:14
movie. Yeah.
00:14:16
OK, worst agent award goes to Knick.
00:14:18
Naughty. Career worst agent, Yeah.
00:14:24
Yeah. So 48 hours, like it's not bad.
00:14:28
I think it's interesting to go back and see, like it's really
00:14:32
interesting if you watch the sequel.
00:14:33
So they made 48 Hours in the early 80s when Eddie Murphy was
00:14:36
like an unknown as a film actor. It did really, really well.
00:14:39
And then like 10 years later, they made a movie called Another
00:14:43
48 Hours that was a direct sequel.
00:14:45
And in between, Eddie Murphy became such a big star that
00:14:48
like, he feels like a different person when he shows up in the.
00:14:50
Sequel. Oh, yeah, I mean, Eddie Murphy,
00:14:53
like, exploded during that time. He was like one of the biggest
00:14:57
stars in the world at that time. Yeah, and another 48 hours,
00:15:00
like, spends its entire runtime glazing.
00:15:02
Eddie Murphy is like the coolest guy ever, even though the first
00:15:05
movie is just riddled with racist jokes at its expense.
00:15:11
The entire buddy cop formula is that Nick Nolte is an old racist
00:15:15
cop. And then he learns to, like,
00:15:17
trust Eddie Murphy, who's like, a criminal that he lets out of
00:15:20
jail to help him investigate a case.
00:15:22
So it's got a bit of that uncomfortable humor quality to
00:15:25
it. It's not even as good as Hot
00:15:28
Fuzz, which is another kind of movie in that same vein,
00:15:31
although it's like a satire. So I would say 48 hours firmly
00:15:35
#3. Oh, oh, yeah.
00:15:37
OK, Solid, solid choice. Hot Fuzz, by the way, has now
00:15:42
become the most middle movie ever.
00:15:45
What, what a journey it's going on.
00:15:48
I feel like as we've reevaluated Hot Fuzz every two to three
00:15:50
minutes, we've really found that it lands in a different part of
00:15:55
the of the, like, you know, the ranking.
00:15:58
Yeah, it's funny. It's just such a funny 1 to come
00:16:00
up first because I know, like I said, I know there's people out
00:16:03
there that like, that's probably their favorite movie.
00:16:05
There's people that really love Hot Fuzz and we're just like
00:16:08
bouncing it around. Like, yeah, no respect being
00:16:11
given to Hot Fuzz. We're just like you, move out of
00:16:13
the way. Exactly.
00:16:17
Step aside for Mickey Rourke, right?
00:16:19
He's on top of the. Side for Mickey Rourke,
00:16:21
something that also has not been said since 1980.
00:16:25
OK, that's three movies down. This is moving quicker than I
00:16:30
expected. We're going to get this list
00:16:31
done in no time. Yeah, exactly.
00:16:33
There's only a lot. Let's just see where it goes
00:16:35
next. All right, let's let's spin that
00:16:40
list. Spin that.
00:16:41
Yeah. All right, We'll we'll figure it
00:16:42
out. We'll, we'll.
00:16:44
Figure it out. We'll get some.
00:16:45
We'll get some clear language about this at some point.
00:16:48
All right, spin that list. It is OK.
00:16:51
We're going all the way down to 12168. 1268 OK, give me a
00:16:58
minute. So this this is alphabetical.
00:17:01
It is alphabetical, Yeah, got it.
00:17:03
But it's not. As we're just about to find out,
00:17:06
it does not alphabetize out the, So anything that starts with the
00:17:09
is here in the T range. OK, cool.
00:17:12
That's that's fine. Did you say 1268?
00:17:16
I did 12681268. 1268 is my Social Security number.
00:17:21
No it is. It's a short 1.
00:17:24
I don't know why they. Just feel like that, that's all
00:17:26
we got, that's all we got left. We ran out of numbers so.
00:17:29
I've got one of the early ones. They were like you, just a
00:17:32
couple. Anyway, 1268 on this database is
00:17:35
2015's The Big Short. Have you seen The Big Short?
00:17:40
Have I seen any movies on this list other than?
00:17:42
Have you ever seen the? Film.
00:17:45
Before. This is ridiculous.
00:17:48
OK The Big Short is an Adam McKay film I believe, which is
00:17:53
essentially like it's like an edutainment film.
00:17:58
It has a big cast of a list actors trying to re enact the
00:18:02
events of the 2008 housing market crash in the United
00:18:06
States, but it casts these actors as real people who were
00:18:10
involved in the story but inner cuts between actual traditional
00:18:15
film scenes of dialogue and then just has characters talking to
00:18:18
the camera a lot. It essentially is trying to
00:18:21
entertain you while genuinely explaining the series of events
00:18:25
and like widespread corruption and failure of these public
00:18:29
offices that led to the OA crash.
00:18:31
So it's like not even a traditional narrative film, but
00:18:35
it's not a documentary because it is still fictionalized.
00:18:40
Yeah, yeah, I, I mean, I'm, I am, I'm very familiar with it.
00:18:43
I just haven't, haven't seen it myself.
00:18:45
This has just become a game though, where it's just like, do
00:18:47
you remember movies you've seen? Yeah, it's just me.
00:18:51
I would really love the support but Frank's like I just watch
00:18:53
hot fuds every day. Every time I keep watching I
00:18:56
just can't decide if I like it or not so.
00:19:00
My life's work is to constantly watch and re evaluate the movie
00:19:03
Hot Fuds. OK, So what do you think?
00:19:08
What do I think about Hot? No, not Hot Fuzz the Big Short.
00:19:13
I think I saw this movie when it was new.
00:19:14
I probably saw it in 2015 so my memory of it is a little bit
00:19:17
loose. As I recall.
00:19:20
It is entertaining and does an OK job at explaining its
00:19:25
premise. I seem to recall because I was
00:19:27
probably like early 20s when this movie came out and I
00:19:30
definitely had that inflated sense of like, I know what
00:19:32
happens now. You know, like you get this like
00:19:36
popcorn summary and you're like, I think I can explain the
00:19:39
housing market. Oh, go ahead, let's hear it.
00:19:42
How do you feel about the housing market crash of a ways
00:19:45
so. OK, this will be the test.
00:19:47
If the movie did a good enough job, I should be able to tell
00:19:49
you how the market crashed. So there was a subprime loan
00:19:54
bubble because does that make sense?
00:20:00
Yeah, yeah, of course, obviously.
00:20:01
OK, he's getting it. He hasn't seen the film.
00:20:03
If Steve Carell explained it, you would totally get it.
00:20:05
Yeah. So people bought and sold these.
00:20:11
That is my understanding. Check my work.
00:20:17
I was trying to think of a punch line at the end but I got
00:20:20
distracted listening. Do you explain that the housing
00:20:22
market crash? Well, I mean, that's pretty
00:20:26
good. I mean, I don't think it's
00:20:27
correct, but it feels right. Yeah, I know.
00:20:30
From what I understand, that sounds, that sounds Steve Carell
00:20:33
and whoever else, Margot Robbie, I think, in a bathtub.
00:20:36
They did do Margot Robbie in a bathtub to try to like make fun
00:20:39
of the viewer for not having a good attention span.
00:20:41
But you know what? I paid attention.
00:20:43
I remember the bathtub. So all of that said, The Big
00:20:49
Short is a pretty good movie, and I would say it has a like a
00:20:53
noble aim in trying to actually, like, educate the public about a
00:20:58
massive corruption scandal that cost a bunch of people their
00:21:02
jobs in their homes. So it's like a commendable
00:21:05
effort in that respect. I would put it above 48 hours,
00:21:09
but I think it falls below the Hot Fuzz boundary.
00:21:14
I I think you're right, I think, I think the Big Short, having
00:21:18
not seen it, fell into a weird place where it was like, like
00:21:23
you said, it wasn't a documentary.
00:21:24
It wasn't like explicitly A narrative film, even though it
00:21:28
was like commendable as it may be, was an interesting piece of
00:21:34
of media and filmmaking, but. But it's like not a movie.
00:21:39
It's like a piece of media, but it's not really a movie.
00:21:43
And if the list is best movies ever made, I feel like for me
00:21:48
the best movies ever made are ones that use the language of
00:21:52
filmmaking to tell you a like a compelling story and make you
00:21:57
feel something or learn something.
00:21:58
And Big Short felt like it was ultimately taking a big
00:22:01
shortcut, just explaining everything to you as opposed to
00:22:06
trying to make you understand it through dialogue.
00:22:08
Yeah, totally, totally. That's so.
00:22:12
How bad must 48 hours feel to be ranked below not even a movie on
00:22:17
this greatest movie's all time list?
00:22:20
I think Big Short gets by because it does have that sort
00:22:22
of like, just watchable quality to it.
00:22:25
Like 48 hours is kind of harsh to look back on now.
00:22:27
Like, you can see what they're going for, but it's kind of just
00:22:31
like a sad watch and compared to a lot of the buddy comedies that
00:22:33
came later. Whereas like Big Short, you
00:22:36
could still watch now and be like, oh, OK, like this is like
00:22:39
a movie to watch on a plane, you know?
00:22:40
Yes, totally, totally. So it's #3 currently #3.
00:22:46
Hot Fuzz is now in the top 50% again.
00:22:50
It got above the midline. OP fuzz is our anchor.
00:22:53
Being like anchor, it just doesn't make sense without OP
00:23:00
fuzz. That's funny.
00:23:03
All right, so that's, you know, in real time, about 22 minutes
00:23:07
into an hour. We've got 4 movies on the list.
00:23:09
We are zooming. I like this.
00:23:11
Oh yeah, totally. So if you could now pick a movie
00:23:14
that you have seen perhaps. All right, let me spin that.
00:23:18
Flip that. Bop that list.
00:23:21
Bop that list and we are going to 597.
00:23:28
OK, entry 597 in the database is 1986 Highlander.
00:23:36
Please tell me you've seen Highlander.
00:23:38
Listen, I would love to tell you that I've seen the the film
00:23:44
Highlander. That's ridiculous.
00:23:46
But I don't think that I have this movie.
00:23:50
You. Like, no way.
00:23:54
Look, it's the, it's a. It's a statistical unlikelihood,
00:23:58
but apparently we're proving that wrong.
00:24:01
So this is. Ridiculous.
00:24:02
This is ridiculous. OK, OK, Highlander is awesome,
00:24:08
all right. Highlander's great.
00:24:09
It's soaring past the Hot Fuzz line for me, which I guess it's
00:24:13
all that matters because you haven't seen it.
00:24:15
But I also think you would agree with this because Highlander is
00:24:19
peak 80s action fantasy camping nonsense.
00:24:23
It stars Christopher Lambert or Lambert, I'm not sure how you
00:24:26
pronounce it, as an immortal Scottish Highlands warrior who
00:24:32
gets essentially cursed to be a Highlander through some unknown
00:24:35
means and has to live forever. Essentially changing his
00:24:39
identity every now and again as he moves through history.
00:24:42
Until we catch up with him in the present, which is the 1980s.
00:24:46
Where he finds that among the other remaining immortal
00:24:49
Highlanders, there is essentially this instinctual
00:24:52
calling that they all have, where they know that they must
00:24:55
fight to the death until there's only one immortal man remaining.
00:24:59
That's like the pitch. So it's essentially the
00:25:02
conclusion of a conflict that began like way further back in
00:25:05
history. So you have all these people
00:25:07
from different eras converging in the 80s in New York City to
00:25:11
fight to the death, mostly with swords.
00:25:14
Hell yeah, that sounds great. I.
00:25:17
Like that, it's really, really stylish.
00:25:19
It also has a soundtrack by Queen like original music
00:25:24
written for the movie by Queen that is really really good.
00:25:27
Well, is this the one where the tagline is there can only be 1?
00:25:30
Is that Highlander? That's exactly right.
00:25:31
Yep, there can only be 1. So there's like however many
00:25:34
Highlanders. And the gimmick, as they explain
00:25:37
it, is that another Highlander can kill one by I think they
00:25:42
have to be decapitated. That's like the only way.
00:25:45
So there's a lot of chopping off heads with swords.
00:25:47
And so some of these Highlanders are friends.
00:25:49
Our main guy, Lambert, is like a nice dude just trying to get by.
00:25:52
But then there's also evil Highlanders who are trying to,
00:25:56
like, steal the power of the ones that they defeat.
00:25:59
OK. Yeah, yeah.
00:26:01
But it's so fun to watch. It has also Sean Connery in it,
00:26:05
giving a great performance as a guy who I swear says he's from
00:26:08
Spain but talks like Sean Connery, which is just nuts.
00:26:13
He's like the old master figure who essentially teaches your
00:26:17
main character about all this lore about being a Highlander,
00:26:20
but then he ultimately gets killed by the bad guy earlier in
00:26:22
the story. And then when we catch up in the
00:26:24
80s, we we see the conclusion of that conflict.
00:26:27
It's a really, really interesting movie that I think
00:26:29
at the time was maybe written off as like just kind of like a
00:26:33
loose, campy mess. But it has such a strong vibe to
00:26:36
it the whole time and like, fun performances, really
00:26:40
interesting, like gritty New York City imagery throughout the
00:26:45
whole thing. I mean, the story begins in the
00:26:48
present with him watching a wrestling match.
00:26:52
Like he's watching the Fabulous Free Birds have like a six man
00:26:54
tag team bout at like Madison Square Garden.
00:26:57
And then he leaves and gets attacked by a Highlander in the
00:27:00
parking lot. And then they have like a sword
00:27:02
fight in a parking lot and it's really cool.
00:27:05
I I would be sold on any film that starts like that.
00:27:07
That's amazing. Highlander's awesome.
00:27:11
Like, it is so dumb in such an endearing way, but it doesn't
00:27:16
contradict itself. And it's like internally
00:27:18
consistent about its lore and actually has a couple of fairly
00:27:21
moving emotional elements to it. Like, you're cutting back and
00:27:26
forth throughout the film from the main characters past in the
00:27:30
Scottish Highlands in like, the 1500s to the present day in New
00:27:34
York City. And one of the problematic
00:27:36
elements for him is that he has a wife in the 1500s who Sean
00:27:41
Connery's always telling him, like, you can't form
00:27:43
relationships with people because you're going to outlive
00:27:45
them. And it's just too much pain.
00:27:47
Like, you can't stay anywhere for too long.
00:27:50
You can't make connections. And then ultimately he agrees.
00:27:55
Like, he decides to stay with his wife anyway.
00:27:57
He decides to live through that pain.
00:27:59
And so you have this scene where, like, they're the same
00:28:02
age when they meet, but then she dies of old age while he still
00:28:05
just looks the same. And it's this very, like, sad
00:28:07
scene. And there's this fantastic Queen
00:28:09
music playing that people would recognize because it was in the
00:28:12
trailer for the last season of Stranger Things that's
00:28:16
modernized it. All right.
00:28:18
A little cultural landmark there, OK?
00:28:20
Yeah, So it's a song called, I think the full title is Who
00:28:24
Wants to Live Forever. It's like a really fun love
00:28:28
ballad essentially sung by What I need to Stress is like late
00:28:31
stage Queen. This is not like, oh, it's
00:28:33
before they were a big deal. This is like peak era post
00:28:36
Bohemian Rhapsody. Queen just doing songs for this
00:28:39
movie for no understandable reason.
00:28:41
Well, that used to be a thing and it's a thing I, I miss and
00:28:44
wish was done more often. Cause a lot of modern films
00:28:46
will, when they put in pop songs, it'll just be like pop
00:28:51
songs you've heard from previous eras.
00:28:52
You know, it's like, Oh, this is a cool song.
00:28:53
Like Stranger Things is a perfect example.
00:28:55
They're like, oh, we're just going to kind of cherry pick
00:28:57
these songs from the 80s or whatever.
00:28:59
But there used to be like movies like this where big music
00:29:05
performers would like, write original songs for films.
00:29:09
And like so many film, like so many of those songs became
00:29:12
iconic along with the films, you know, like, that's just not a
00:29:17
thing anyway. I can't remember the last time
00:29:18
that that's been done. And I feel like, I don't know
00:29:22
why, because I feel like it's a win win.
00:29:24
If you get a popular film, you get this popular song and like
00:29:27
and and the songs were actually written to fit the story of the
00:29:31
film too, and not just kind of like forced onto whatever was
00:29:34
happening. Well, that's a whole element.
00:29:36
I think they often sometimes will call those like needle
00:29:39
drops in films and TV where it's just like, oh, this is a
00:29:42
recognizable piece of music that you already have, that you
00:29:46
already have like an emotional connection to.
00:29:47
And we're trying to like hijack that feeling and just apply it
00:29:51
to something else. Whereas if it's written for the
00:29:53
movie, maybe you hear the song before you see the film, but it
00:29:56
is still written to reflect the exact like feelings they're
00:29:59
trying to evoke from the story you're watching on screen.
00:30:02
Yeah, the same way that the score usually does that, like
00:30:04
the score of a film is written for that film.
00:30:07
And it's meant to, like you said, like accentuate and
00:30:10
punctuate certain like, emotional beats.
00:30:12
And as I recall for Highlander, Queen was contracted to write
00:30:17
like one or two pieces of music, but they saw early prints of the
00:30:21
film and were inspired to write more.
00:30:22
So like I think even that Who Wants to Live Forever song was
00:30:25
written by not Freddie Mercury but one of the band members of
00:30:28
Queen. After seeing like a work print
00:30:31
of the movie, they were just like inspired to make more music
00:30:34
for it. Yeah, see, that's awesome.
00:30:36
I just wish there was, there was more of that.
00:30:39
I, I don't know why that trend stopped really.
00:30:42
I'm I'm sure it's like a cost cutting thing from like studio
00:30:46
productions, but we're really missing out on on those like new
00:30:51
songs that could be associated with great movies too.
00:30:55
I think maybe part of it was the market at the time for exposing
00:30:59
an audience to new music. Like if you think about this in
00:31:01
a pre Internet pre streaming age where going to a movie was a
00:31:05
more common thing in the 1st place, like going to theaters.
00:31:08
And then if you could like pair that with music and then maybe
00:31:12
have like ACD that comes out alongside the film.
00:31:14
It was just like a way to cross promote.
00:31:16
Whereas now if you finish a piece of music, you're like
00:31:18
release it. Like you just want to have full
00:31:20
control over the marketing and the release schedule for all
00:31:23
that. I don't know if that's actually
00:31:25
part of it, but I could see it being a factor.
00:31:27
No, that's a good point. I mean, but I also feel like
00:31:29
from a marketing perspective, it would be a good way to market a
00:31:32
film be like, you know, it's like oh score or, you know,
00:31:35
musical performances. However you want to market it
00:31:38
like original soundtrack by Lady Gaga or whoever, you know, for
00:31:43
this, this new movie, like that's a good way to get
00:31:46
audiences into a movie they might not have otherwise seen,
00:31:49
you know, if they if they're familiar with like the musical
00:31:52
performer. Yeah, well, best I can give you
00:31:55
is a slow piano cover of an 80's rock song awkwardly slapped on
00:32:00
top of a teaser trailer. Yeah, it's all just
00:32:02
regurgitated. It's it's all just the same
00:32:05
stuff over and over again, I think.
00:32:08
I think Stranger Things has used every 80s song that exists at
00:32:11
this point so they got to pick a different decade.
00:32:13
Yeah, Stranger Things went from being like sort of a fun send up
00:32:17
to like a parasitic, like recursation of 80s, eighties
00:32:22
media, which of course is going to happen when you have to make
00:32:24
the show run for that long, when it's a one idea that goes start
00:32:28
to finish. And then they're like, hey, what
00:32:29
if we play a couple of things, like what if the kids dress as
00:32:32
the Ghostbusters? It's like, that's funny.
00:32:34
But when you're like 10 years in, it's like, oh gosh, we've
00:32:37
made 45 teaser trailers alone, right?
00:32:39
Exactly. That's before we can get to the
00:32:41
episodes. Anyway, Long story short,
00:32:44
Highlander number one, I will take no questions.
00:32:46
It's really good. OK, number one beat out, beat
00:32:50
out Mickey. Beat up Mickey Rourke, which I
00:32:54
would, I would say those are both very, very good movies.
00:32:56
Highlander just has an edge for being like really memorable
00:33:01
because of its strangeness. Like there's a pop culture
00:33:03
quality to that story. Like you remember the There Can
00:33:06
Only Be 1 tagline, which was very popular coming out of this
00:33:10
story. It's just iconic in a way that's
00:33:13
hard. To explain, yeah, no, totally.
00:33:15
It's I'm familiar with it even though I haven't ever seen it.
00:33:18
So that I I want to watch it now.
00:33:21
OK, it will. Well, you should, because for
00:33:23
the time being it's the greatest movie of all time, so it's kind
00:33:25
of weird that you haven't seen it.
00:33:26
I haven't seen the best movie of all time.
00:33:27
Yeah, I I've only seen like one in the middle somewhere of best
00:33:32
movies you've seen. The third best movie of all time
00:33:35
out of five. Yeah.
00:33:36
Do you want me to just leave? Should you just do this whole
00:33:38
list on your own? No, I want you to slip, spin
00:33:42
that wheel and land on something you know.
00:33:45
All right, let's bop it. It is #101 like the Dalmatians.
00:33:51
Wouldn't it be funny if that was the movie?
00:33:53
That would be great, but that's probably since it's
00:33:54
alphabetical, that's probably higher up because that would be
00:33:56
like movies that start with numbers A. 101 would be like the
00:34:00
first movie. Yeah, which is weird because,
00:34:02
again, we've seen that movie, I'm certain, but it would have
00:34:04
been long enough ago that it didn't get on this, like, formal
00:34:07
list. We'll have to.
00:34:09
We'll have to think about how to throw that in there anyway.
00:34:12
OK, Frank, you've saved it. You've turned the whole episode
00:34:15
around #101 on our database is Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of
00:34:22
the Closet. This is going to turn into a
00:34:24
whole thing. Look, I don't think it has to.
00:34:28
I think we just put it at #1 possibly zero and then just move
00:34:33
on from there, right? Like.
00:34:35
So we are. I don't want to lump us in with
00:34:40
the growing crowd that does the same thing because I think we've
00:34:43
been Star Wars prequel apologists from day one.
00:34:46
I feel like now it's in the loop because they made that new
00:34:49
trilogy and a lot of people didn't like those for good
00:34:51
reason, because they're boring and kind of soulless to say,
00:34:54
well, the prequels were on to something.
00:34:56
They're not great, like they're not executed very well at times,
00:35:00
but they're like, there's some quality to these movies that
00:35:03
make them endearing. But I feel like we have those
00:35:07
people beat by like at least a decade, right?
00:35:09
Well, yes, I'm going to say yes and no, because I think a lot of
00:35:15
the modern love for the prequels does come from nostalgia.
00:35:19
It it, it was a lot of people around our age that that was
00:35:23
their first introduction to Star Wars.
00:35:26
And so people that watched the original films, you know, when
00:35:31
those came out and that was all that existed.
00:35:34
Everyone was very excited when the prequels came out.
00:35:36
And then they were very much rejected at the time because
00:35:41
people felt that they didn't live up to those original films.
00:35:44
And so to a certain generation prior to us that had grown up on
00:35:49
the old ones, they like hated those movies.
00:35:52
But you know, when I was when I was a young boy watching like
00:36:00
the Star Wars prequels, I was like, what are you talking
00:36:03
about? It's the best thing I've ever
00:36:04
seen in my life. And I think for you and I and A
00:36:09
lot of other people as well as you, as you pointed out, that
00:36:12
appreciation has grown in a genuine sense, too.
00:36:19
I I there's a really, I think one of the most popular
00:36:22
subreddit still to this day is prequel memes like Star Wars.
00:36:26
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:36:27
Prequel memes that that launched an entire era of like nostalgic
00:36:32
meme stuff like there's you'll now see that about like the Sam
00:36:35
Raimi spider man movies or Lord of the Rings or any number of
00:36:38
things. But Star Wars prequel memes is
00:36:40
like a landmark moment in Internet culture.
00:36:43
Yes, I I think the prequels have gone through different, much
00:36:47
like Hot Fuzz have gone through different stages of.
00:36:52
Like Star Wars Episode 2 is in its Hot Fuzz at #3 Arrow right
00:36:56
now. Exactly.
00:36:58
They've gone, they've all gone through different stages of
00:37:02
appreciation, like over the years from, you know, being like
00:37:07
childhood memories to being this like thing that people make fun
00:37:11
of to like, again, like you said, comparing it to like the
00:37:15
modern landscape of kind of filmmaking in general,
00:37:18
particularly among like studio filmmaking, but also like modern
00:37:21
Star Wars to, to people like, well, you know, these films, for
00:37:26
all their faults, had a clear vision and like unique visuals
00:37:31
and like all of the things you can get into where you can
00:37:34
actually just appreciate them in a, in a genuine sense.
00:37:39
And even among the three, you know, you have Episode 1-2 and
00:37:44
three. Attack of the Clones is an
00:37:45
interesting one because I feel like it's arguably the least
00:37:48
popular of those 3. I think it's a lot of people's
00:37:53
least favorite, because Phantom Menace has the benefit of being
00:37:56
the beginning of a story, and Revenge of the Sith has the
00:37:58
benefit of being the end. So anytime you have a movie
00:38:02
that's in the middle, it's going to have this kind of aimless
00:38:05
quality to it. But yeah, I don't know.
00:38:07
Do you think it's actually a worse movie than either of the
00:38:10
other two? The wait, Oh, you mean?
00:38:14
Is Attack of the Clones a worse movie than Phantom Menace or
00:38:17
Revenge of the Sith? I.
00:38:19
I don't think so. I think even I may have been in
00:38:23
that camp at some point where I was like, you know, we can kind
00:38:27
of skip those. Even I feel like there was there
00:38:28
was re releases in the past couple years and there was a big
00:38:32
Phantom Menace re release and a big Revenge of the Sith re
00:38:34
release and I noticed they just skipped Attack of the Clones.
00:38:37
There was no. Yeah, because I went to those
00:38:40
and I did not even hear about an Attack of the Clones one.
00:38:43
I'm sure they did one, but it got a lot less traction.
00:38:46
I don't know if they did, Maybe they did, maybe, maybe I'm sure
00:38:49
at some point over. The years it has been re
00:38:50
released. But like, but the revenge of the
00:38:52
sith re release, which I believe was early 2025 was I, I think
00:38:58
the at the time at least, like the biggest box office film re
00:39:03
release of all time. So there are legitimate
00:39:07
arguments you can make again now to the value of the prequel
00:39:11
films. But to to answer your question,
00:39:13
I, I still love attack of the clones.
00:39:16
I I think it introduces what I think is one of the best pieces
00:39:21
of music of score it in the entire franchise with across the
00:39:25
stars like the Anakin and Padme love ballad.
00:39:30
And I do think it's just a a entertaining film, But it it
00:39:36
obviously I could go on and talk about the prequels all day long.
00:39:39
But this could be its own episode because we we talk about
00:39:42
these movies all the time for no reason because we don't have any
00:39:45
like, healthy debate. It's just like, yeah, I like it
00:39:47
too. That's it.
00:39:48
That's all we ever say is how much we like these movies.
00:39:51
The only thing I could knock Attack of the Clones for is that
00:39:54
much like a Hot Fuzz, it does save a lot of its action for
00:39:58
like a big set piece toward the end of the movie and I think at
00:40:01
the time it released. That giant scene of like the
00:40:04
clone showing up and like 50 Jedis all fighting together with
00:40:07
like a big cell because visually it was so unlike anything that
00:40:11
had been put to screen before. But those effects have held up
00:40:14
worse than a lot of the other stuff in those movies.
00:40:17
And because you have to wait such a long time and then that's
00:40:19
like the last 30 plus minutes, it drags a little bit because
00:40:23
it's not really that interesting to watch now.
00:40:25
It's like a cool story beat, but it is structured in a way that
00:40:29
kind of like makes that the main event when it's not the most
00:40:32
interesting thing in the movie. So I think Attack of the Clones
00:40:34
is maybe the most imbalanced of the three, but I still like all
00:40:38
of them. They're they are in a way, kind
00:40:41
of an avant-garde masterpiece because they're so strange.
00:40:44
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And and they're also I, I agree
00:40:47
with your, your assessment there too of the sort of the
00:40:50
unbalanced storytelling. And and I'll circle back to that
00:40:55
in a second here, but I also just wanted to point out too,
00:40:57
because you mentioned like the visuals, like Attack of the
00:41:00
Clones is also in a way like a landmark piece of cinema,
00:41:04
because I believe it was one of the first feature films of that
00:41:10
scale to be shot entirely digitally.
00:41:12
And I remember hearing a story where like Lucas called all
00:41:17
these like big name directors to like the Skywalker Ranch to have
00:41:22
like this round table meeting. And like they were telling him
00:41:26
like not to do it, that he was going to like ruin cinema by
00:41:29
shooting this movie The way he was planning to shoot it.
00:41:32
And now everything is shot digitally so.
00:41:35
So maybe he did. So maybe he did.
00:41:37
Good job, George. Good job George ruined it for
00:41:43
everybody. Yeah, I mean, also there's also
00:41:47
like somewhat legitimate argument that George Lucas
00:41:50
really did change the landscape of of studio filmmaking for the
00:41:54
worst in some ways with the original Star Wars films,
00:41:55
because it set the precedent for like blockbuster filmmaking.
00:42:00
And that just kind of changed how things were marketed and
00:42:03
released from that point forward.
00:42:05
So what you're saying is jar. Jar is the key to all of this.
00:42:08
Jar Jar is the key to all of this, you see.
00:42:11
I mean, it's just just to circle back around to your to your
00:42:15
other point about the unbalanced storytelling in that in that
00:42:19
second film, and you brought this up as well as like Lord of
00:42:22
the Rings, like like a lot of people love the Lord of the
00:42:27
Rings extended editions because they're like they take like 3
00:42:31
hour films and turn to like 4 1/2 hour films a piece.
00:42:35
And I think like a lot of people argue that those are better just
00:42:39
because they love those films so much.
00:42:42
They just love seeing more of them.
00:42:44
You know, it's like, but as you and I have have discussed
00:42:48
previously, like the theatrical cuts are better films because
00:42:52
they're they're just they're tighter.
00:42:54
They're they're paced better. A lot of those scenes that were
00:42:57
cut out and then added back into the extended editions aren't
00:43:00
really necessary. This is funny actually, because
00:43:03
just to modernize again, that's the current debate at time of
00:43:06
recording about the new Stranger Things season, which I have not
00:43:08
watched, is that I guess like the fan base got into a tizzy
00:43:11
because they were led to believe that there's all this like
00:43:13
missing content from what was released.
00:43:16
Even though the last season is like 12 hours long.
00:43:18
They're convinced that the Duffer brothers cut out like 4
00:43:21
hours of content in the middle because they don't understand
00:43:24
what like deleted scenes are or like unfinished VFX sequences
00:43:29
are. Like, it's like, no, it's not
00:43:31
part of it. It's not part of the artwork
00:43:33
that they made. It was like they condensed it.
00:43:36
Yeah, it was. Yeah.
00:43:36
It was probably something they may have even just considered
00:43:40
shooting at some point and then never did.
00:43:41
Like, yeah. There's so many stages where
00:43:44
like even up to Lord of the Rings, which has some really
00:43:46
good sequences in their deleted content, you could still be
00:43:49
like, this is good but it's not worth disrupting the overall
00:43:54
flow of the story to include it. So it's like, if you're a super
00:43:56
fan, throw it back in, otherwise you don't need it.
00:44:00
And people don't seem to get that because they just want more
00:44:02
of everything. Yes, yes, exactly.
00:44:04
Especially these like rabid fan bases for things like Star Wars
00:44:08
and Stranger Things. Can you imagine being just so
00:44:11
dogmatically in favour of something that you won't accept
00:44:13
any criticism of it? Now go back to telling me why
00:44:16
Jar Jar should be in episode 2 more.
00:44:17
Yes, yes. So I, I will round this out,
00:44:21
wrap this up by saying that I, as I said, could talk about the
00:44:27
prequels all day, but it's a completely biased.
00:44:30
And the point I was trying to tie it into with like the The
00:44:33
Lord of the Rings, like extended editions is just like I watch
00:44:36
Attack of the clones now. And I'm not even, I'm so biased
00:44:42
in my favor of these films that just seeing, you know, Hayden
00:44:46
Christensen as Anakin Skywalker doing anything on screen, I'm
00:44:50
like, this is this is cinema. I mean, what, what what else do
00:44:52
you want? Like, so this is, you know, I'm
00:44:57
so biased towards these films. Like, I could have a
00:45:02
intellectual debate or discussion about them, but I'm
00:45:06
always going to be coming from the side of just how like,
00:45:10
positively geared towards them I am.
00:45:12
So that being said #1 The best film ever made is that #1.
00:45:20
OK, this is tough, because it definitely clears the Hot Fuzz
00:45:25
line. Of course, Hot Fuzz can't even
00:45:26
see it, it's so far above its head.
00:45:28
They're just like, what is that? It's a bird, it's a plane.
00:45:31
It's Anakin Skywalker flipping through the sky.
00:45:34
Flipping through the sky. Once you put Attack on the Clone
00:45:37
specifically, which I think we agree is maybe the weakest of
00:45:40
these prequel films up against Angel Heart and Highlander now
00:45:44
we're like an ideological divide because it's like Angel Heart is
00:45:47
like a fairly legitimate like film.
00:45:51
It's telling a story. It's very self serious.
00:45:53
It's can't be in the sense that there's like fantasy elements of
00:45:57
it, but it's trying to be something like a self-contained
00:46:03
piece of art that tells you one story.
00:46:05
Highlander is more on the Star Wars side of being like crazy
00:46:08
over the top, just trying to sell you on like atmosphere and
00:46:12
energy. So it's like, how much clearance
00:46:15
do we give Star Wars as a movie if we're just ranking best
00:46:19
movies of all time? Star Wars maybe gets a boost
00:46:22
from just how divisive and conversation driving it is.
00:46:26
Yes, yes, it is definitely one of the movies of all time in a
00:46:32
sense that it will always like. It's just, it's one of the
00:46:36
biggest like IPS in the world. You know, it's just one of the
00:46:40
most recognizable things and there's there would be people
00:46:45
that think this is one of the worst movies of all time.
00:46:50
I know, I know. It's so strange.
00:46:52
Like ultimately it comes down to what you think the best is.
00:46:57
And I think it's some combination of very like rigid
00:47:01
structural elements of like, is it well made?
00:47:03
Is it well acted? Is it impactful?
00:47:07
Does it have a purpose to it? Is the store is it, does it have
00:47:10
a message that is being conveyed effectively that makes you feel
00:47:12
something? But then there's like 6000
00:47:14
intangible qualities where ultimately you can just feel
00:47:17
like, but this is better. Yes, exactly.
00:47:21
And and that's the thing I really like.
00:47:23
It would be silly, but I feel like I could argue for those
00:47:28
things in Attack of the Clones, but it's, I almost feel like
00:47:32
it's just such a conflict of interest for me.
00:47:34
Like because it's just like there's like the logical, like
00:47:38
analytical side of my brain looking at it as a piece of like
00:47:41
film and filmmaking. And then there is just the sort
00:47:44
of like nostalgia and appreciation I have for it at
00:47:49
the same time, so. I I would say if there were
00:47:52
other movies on this list already that were a little bit
00:47:55
more of like serious contenders for like fantastic films that we
00:47:58
both had seen and really liked, I'd contest this.
00:48:01
But I'm not going to like fight this hard to keep it to keep
00:48:05
Highlander above Attack. I like both movies.
00:48:08
I think for the time being, Attack of the Clones could sit
00:48:12
comfortably. It's the best movie ever made.
00:48:17
I mean, I will. Having not seen Highlander, I
00:48:20
will defer to you on this. I'm not going to argue too
00:48:25
heavily for Attack of the Clones.
00:48:28
I just like it it really. Then it becomes a a difference
00:48:32
of like favorite versus best. And I mean, the name of the show
00:48:37
is just ranking every movie ever made.
00:48:39
So we didn't even really set a precedent there of.
00:48:43
Well, we're figuring it out in real time.
00:48:45
I thought we figured this out off mic, but now everyone knows.
00:48:47
We're just total hacks about it. I would say that's fine.
00:48:52
There's Attack of the Clones is not going to hold number one.
00:48:54
It would lose out to most of the other Star Wars movies except
00:48:57
the new ones, and it would lose out to a lot of other stuff.
00:48:59
But for now, best movie ever made.
00:49:02
Agreed. Obviously agreed.
00:49:04
Yeah, 100%. Also, before somebody who thinks
00:49:07
they know the alphabet accuses me of rigging this, they're
00:49:09
like, how did he get Attack of the Clones at one O 1?
00:49:12
If it's called Star Wars Attack of the Clones, it's because I
00:49:15
think Frank, one of the times you watched it, you were being a
00:49:18
little bit succinct and just wrote Attack of the Clones.
00:49:20
So it did get filtered out when I looked for duplicates.
00:49:23
A So the other the other Star Wars movies are down in like the
00:49:26
one thousandths range, but through serendipity, entry
00:49:31
number one O 1 just says Attack of the Clones.
00:49:33
So that's why we talked about it.
00:49:34
I rigged it. I rigged the system.
00:49:37
He rigged the system seven years ago when he watched this movie
00:49:40
and was like, yeah, that's the best thing I've ever seen.
00:49:44
Yeah. Exactly.
00:49:45
And then Revenge of the Sith popped up as like play next and
00:49:47
he was like, hold on. Oh, wait a minute.
00:49:51
What's the like distracted boyfriend meme?
00:49:54
But it's like him looking at the thing behind him and the thing
00:49:56
next to him at the same time. Going back and forth, holding
00:50:00
hands with Attack of the Clones, looking at Revenge of the Sith.
00:50:02
Got got Phantom Menace in my back pocket.
00:50:05
Yeah. All right, Well, Attack of the
00:50:10
Clones, temporarily, if not forever, the best movie of all
00:50:14
time. Frank, We've got time to talk
00:50:17
about probably one or two more before we hit our hour of
00:50:20
recording time. So let's let's spin that wheel.
00:50:24
Slap that bass, let's do it. Slap it to bass.
00:50:27
Wow, we're going really far down the list now we are going to
00:50:32
1621. Oh God, that's almost the
00:50:35
bottom. Yeah, that's that's really low.
00:50:38
So get movies that start with Z maybe?
00:50:41
OK, 1621 in the database and has been selected 1998's Jackie Chan
00:50:49
film Who Am I? Now?
00:50:53
I'm pretty sure you've seen Who Am I?
00:50:55
Right. No, I haven't so this.
00:51:01
Is just I thought it would take multiple episodes for it to
00:51:04
slowly settle in that this premise is cooked but instead
00:51:09
it's it's from day one. I mean, I could talk about
00:51:13
Attack of the Clones more if you want, but.
00:51:15
That's fine, that's fine. We'll save that for.
00:51:18
It's. Christmas special or something?
00:51:21
Who am I? Is Jackie Chan doing The Bourne
00:51:25
Identity? He has amnesia.
00:51:27
He finds out over the course of the movie that he's actually
00:51:30
like a secret agent and is really good at martial arts, and
00:51:33
then he gets roped into a big adventure and has to remember
00:51:36
his identity and solve a sort of action espionage espionage
00:51:41
mystery. Yeah, cool.
00:51:43
Is this the one where he like, screams?
00:51:45
Who am I? Is that?
00:51:46
Yes, he runs to the top of a Cliff and does a helicopter like
00:51:52
shot that's like rotating around like a Michael Bay shot almost
00:51:55
from really far away. And he's just going who am I?
00:51:57
And. Now this was a like Hong Kong
00:52:01
era Jackie Chan like. It was later stage Hong Kong era
00:52:05
Jackie Chan. I think this is unless I'm
00:52:08
misremembering. I saw it a long time ago but I
00:52:09
believe it was made in Hong Kong with his full stunt team.
00:52:12
But it was like 10 years removed from a lot of his most
00:52:14
influential stuff like police story one and two.
00:52:17
I've seen a lot of peek Jackie Chan movies and I'm a really big
00:52:20
fan. We love martial arts stuff.
00:52:23
I would not rank Who am I especially high on that list.
00:52:28
To my memory. It still has some fantastic
00:52:30
scenes in it, but it's sort of like an iteration fatigue for
00:52:34
Jackie Chan and company where it's like, you've done this like
00:52:36
10 times by now, so it's kind of hard to place like, like if we
00:52:39
get other Jackie Chan polls, they'll go above Who Am I?
00:52:42
But does it beat Hot Fuzz? I I don't know, I've seen Hot
00:52:51
Fuzz, so. He's seen Hot Fuzz.
00:52:54
I'm going to say to my recollection, this is not a good
00:52:59
enough Jackie Chan movie. Like, if you've never seen the
00:53:01
Jackie Chan action movie from this time, you'd be blown away.
00:53:04
But there's so many that are better.
00:53:06
And I do think that who am I got really caught up on this
00:53:08
premise. Like most of his movies from
00:53:10
that time, he's just a cop. Just a cop chasing dudes down
00:53:13
and finding like loose excuses to do really interesting stunt
00:53:16
work. At police store, the original
00:53:19
Jackie Chan police story is one of like the best action films
00:53:25
ever made. That's like no hyperbole.
00:53:28
It's part of the like Criterion collection now.
00:53:31
Like it is gorgeous cinema, incredible stunts, like exciting
00:53:39
story. It's funny in a way that like I
00:53:44
think will it's a lot of like physical almost slapstick humor
00:53:48
in a way that crosses regional boundaries.
00:53:52
You know, it's not, it's not like it's it's something that
00:53:55
like audiences from different countries would still find funny
00:53:58
as well, too, which is that usually, you know, comedy is
00:54:01
something that doesn't always translate as well.
00:54:03
So like, yeah, when that one comes up, like police story,
00:54:06
which I know we've both seen and is on this list, that one would
00:54:09
be ranked really high. Police story would go really
00:54:12
high. In general, these Jackie Chan
00:54:14
movies, like you said, there is that comedy element that's
00:54:16
really notable. He kind of seems to take
00:54:18
inspiration from like silent film, like comedy stars like
00:54:21
Buster Keaton and stuff. There's so much physicality to
00:54:24
it and so much genuine danger in the stunt work they were doing
00:54:28
at that time that like, it's something you can commend them
00:54:31
for doing but would never want to see happen again because it's
00:54:34
so risky. And Chan like, risked his health
00:54:37
and the health of everybody on his stunt team, like a lot.
00:54:40
So it's again, we were talking about like Big Short being like,
00:54:43
that's a commendable goal. Whereas Jackie Chan stunt movies
00:54:46
are like, it's worth it if we get the shot.
00:54:48
Yeah, this is dangerous filmmaking that is probably not
00:54:52
worth it in a lot of cases, but yeah, man, does it look good.
00:54:56
And you then you get those those fun blooper reels at the end of
00:55:00
all of his films too. All.
00:55:01
The blooper reels and he does always too, like even for stuff
00:55:04
that's not dangerous. It's really notable because he
00:55:07
always will do even small flourishes like 1000 times just
00:55:12
to get them correct so that they can add to like this mythos of
00:55:15
him as a character on screen. It makes it look like he could
00:55:18
do all these things effortlessly because even a simple little gag
00:55:22
about him, like flipping a pencil with his foot and
00:55:24
catching it behind his ear, he just does it so many times until
00:55:27
they get it, and then it looks like he could do it without even
00:55:29
trying. And Who Am I still has that.
00:55:31
Like, there's some good classic stunt work in here, but I think
00:55:35
if anything, it tries too hard to have a real story and gets a
00:55:38
little bit lost in doing so. So I would put it charitably
00:55:43
right below Hot Fuzz, maybe below Big Short.
00:55:46
I don't know what's more important.
00:55:50
What's your list, man? You've seen all these movies,
00:55:52
so. Yeah, this is my list that Frank
00:55:54
sometimes sometimes barges into to talk about attacking the
00:55:57
Cologne. Yeah, I'm going to put who am I
00:56:01
below Big Short, but above 48 hours because I just didn't
00:56:04
really like 48 hours. 48 hours continues to be the worst thing
00:56:09
humanity's ever made, question mark.
00:56:11
Oh gosh, yeah. Talk about dangerous Nick Nolte
00:56:14
on my screen. I love him.
00:56:18
Please be on our show. Mr. Nolte.
00:56:19
He. Did a Nick Nolte marathon for
00:56:24
you? I did.
00:56:25
I watched like a dozen Nolte movies and he's been in a couple
00:56:29
that have good Metacritic scores that I just personally still did
00:56:32
not really enjoy that much. But he's been in so many movies
00:56:35
that don't even clear, like the Rotten meter on Rotten Tomatoes.
00:56:39
They're like 50% and below, like everything he's ever been in.
00:56:43
Well, that's what we can talk to him about when he's on the show.
00:56:45
Why are you? Why are you so bad at this?
00:56:47
Why do you make? Mr. Old Movies, have you
00:56:49
considered being in good movies like Who Am I and Attack of the
00:56:52
Clone? Get his agent on the phone.
00:56:57
Get his agent on the phone. OK, I think we have time for one
00:57:01
more. So, Frank, why don't we, for one
00:57:03
final time in this first episode, spin that, Flip that
00:57:06
wheel. Yep, that's it.
00:57:09
That's what we say every time, and it is #1048.
00:57:17
OK, all right, we might be on to something.
00:57:21
I don't think I've seen this one. 1048 in the database.
00:57:24
Is Sailor Moon R the movie? Just hold for some Googling real
00:57:39
quick. I see Googling.
00:57:40
Oh my goodness, he was the ones he's seen.
00:57:44
Now that's Sailor Moon, the anime I assume?
00:57:48
Sailor Moon R the Movie. So I've seen this movie is what?
00:57:58
You're telling me you've seen To my knowledge you have seen
00:58:02
Sailor Moon R the movie? Because I have not.
00:58:06
And I know you wrote this down because there's no year next to
00:58:08
it, which is something you used to do.
00:58:10
You forgot to add the year. I Well, it's 1993.
00:58:14
Here's when the movie came out, and it's about all I can tell
00:58:19
you. That's about all.
00:58:21
What? OK.
00:58:23
Why don't you? Just tell me what movie you want
00:58:24
to. See, I, I watched a good chunk
00:58:32
of the original, I assume the original Sailor Moon anime,
00:58:36
which whichever version of the Sailor Moon anime, because I
00:58:38
know there's been several, was like the Toonami era.
00:58:42
I think there was like a 90 like maybe late 80s to early 90s
00:58:45
Sailor Moon anime and OK, this was one of the movies.
00:58:52
I guess for people who don't know, what is Sailor Moon?
00:58:56
Sailor Moon is a magical girl series which I which I think is
00:59:01
is the yeah is the correct terminology.
00:59:04
That's like a proper genre tag. Yep, for anime.
00:59:06
Yes, it is about a high school girl in Japan who transforms
00:59:13
into a superhero of sorts, which is sort of a a lead in to our
00:59:17
next season perhaps. Wink, wink.
00:59:23
Find out at the end. Find out at the end.
00:59:24
Stay tuned, I spoiled it so. Next season, I mean your double
00:59:29
feature Sailor Moon. All of them.
00:59:32
Is there more? Who knows?
00:59:34
Who knows? So OK, so Sailor Moon, very
00:59:38
popular anime. Yeah, I mean, it's it's
00:59:41
definitely something people would be familiar with.
00:59:43
This may have even been something that aired on like
00:59:46
Toonami at some point like which is a lot of American audiences
00:59:51
entry point for anime and I wish I remembered anything about it
00:59:58
but. This is good.
01:00:00
This is a great episode for you. Haven't seen it.
01:00:02
Haven't seen it. Star Wars Attack of the Clones.
01:00:05
What? Sailor Moon.
01:00:08
Thanks everybody. I'll.
01:00:11
See you next time. I'm excited to be here.
01:00:13
So this is not coming out right. This is like this is a pilot.
01:00:19
Well, this is so where do we want to put this one?
01:00:22
Where do you where do you think Sailor Moon?
01:00:26
I can't imagine it would be like oh wow this Sailor Moon movie
01:00:29
was like a disaster. It's probably about as good as
01:00:32
the show was. Yeah, no, I mean it.
01:00:34
It's, I assume it was just like a feature length episode of the
01:00:39
show and the, the show, the show itself, again, for anyone who's
01:00:44
not familiar, is very basic. It like, like I said, it falls
01:00:48
into that magical girls sub genre.
01:00:49
I think probably falls into another sub genre too 'cause
01:00:52
it's almost like Power Rangers where, you know, 'cause there's,
01:00:57
there's our main character, but then there's like, you know,
01:00:59
four other girls that turn into the Sailor Guardians is their
01:01:03
name. OK, yeah, who's remembering?
01:01:05
I'm remembering. I think Jackie Chan did the
01:01:10
stunt work for the Sailor Moon girls, yeah.
01:01:13
How many sailor characters can you name?
01:01:15
Because it's it's like Sailor Moon, but then as the other ones
01:01:17
like Sailor Mercury, right? Sailor Mercury.
01:01:20
Sailor Jupiter. Sailor Venus.
01:01:25
OK. Tuxedo Mask.
01:01:28
Tuxedo Mask. There's one more Sailor One in
01:01:33
there and she has a cat. She does have a cat and he's got
01:01:38
a little OK Crescent moon. On his head.
01:01:41
I'm just moving. This is really just what
01:01:43
impression? I watched a movie 10 years ago
01:01:46
and vaguely recounted the O8 housing crash.
01:01:48
Frank can't even bring to mind who Sailor Moon is other than
01:01:51
she has a cat. All right, so I'm going to
01:01:55
assume this has to go near the bottom I.
01:01:59
Think it should go near the top. Actually, I think this has been
01:02:01
pretty good. It's got to go either above or
01:02:05
below 48 hours, right? Like is this is?
01:02:08
Should we assume this was better than who am I, I?
01:02:10
I don't think so. No, I think I think right about
01:02:12
48 hours, though this is not offensive in any way.
01:02:16
I don't mean to give the impression to like 48 hours is 1
01:02:19
of the better Nick Nolte movies, it's just still not very good.
01:02:24
Yeah. Oh man, that's so funny.
01:02:27
Sailor Moon. Good stuff.
01:02:29
All right, just adding that to my list here.
01:02:32
We're going to have graphics coming up throughout the episode
01:02:34
so people be in the know, but for Frank and I, this is just
01:02:36
going in a Word document. Maybe I should go rewatch this
01:02:39
movie and then I can come back in like in the edit be like OK
01:02:43
sorry I remember now I remember Sailor Moon.
01:02:46
Tell you what, let's do that. Let's let's leave time here.
01:02:49
When we record next time, you have to come back and tell me
01:02:51
about Sailor Moon R, but you just give me like 30 seconds and
01:02:55
we're going to play that now. OK, This is Frank from the
01:02:58
future talking about Sailor Moon R the movie.
01:03:01
She does have a cat, that's true.
01:03:04
He. Still can't.
01:03:07
Remember. Me, I just saw it, but the cat
01:03:13
could be talking about that list.
01:03:14
It was a cat. He has a name.
01:03:16
I don't know what it is, but he's got one.
01:03:19
Oh man, that's that's embarrassing.
01:03:31
OK, well that's that's the end of episode 1 of ranking every
01:03:36
movie ever made. We ranked eight movies today.
01:03:39
There can't be that many more left.
01:03:41
Should we do what? Should we do one more just so we
01:03:43
don't end on? Yeah, I feel that ending on
01:03:45
Sailor Moon. Let's let's spin the spin the
01:03:46
flip the wheel again, OK? What 11?
01:03:50
Last one? We're going to end on 275.
01:03:54
OK 275 just says Cinderella story with no year so this has
01:04:01
got to be you again. What is Cinderella's story?
01:04:07
Not Cinderella, man. Not Cinderella, man, which
01:04:11
apparently is not on here. We must have watched that a long
01:04:13
time ago. Oh.
01:04:15
OK, yes, Cinderella's Story is a 2004 film starring Hilary Duff
01:04:23
and Chad Michael Murray. What?
01:04:31
What is this? What is he doing?
01:04:37
This is like a team Hallmark movie.
01:04:40
Like it's. A Disney movie.
01:04:44
OK, like a Disney Channel. We didn't start this list when
01:04:47
we were five. OK, this this started like 10
01:04:51
years ago. Not since.
01:04:54
Let's just how many entries on this list are just going to be
01:04:57
like Veggie Tales? Vegggie Tales?
01:05:01
Let's just put that. Let's just put that right above
01:05:05
Sailor Moon and just do one more.
01:05:07
We're just going to do one more. We're just going to put some
01:05:11
other story and then Sailor Moon and then we're going.
01:05:14
To jump went above 48 hours without even asking, it's great
01:05:21
in there above. It's like, hey, do you want to
01:05:23
see a buddy cop movie that launched Eddie Murphy or do you
01:05:25
want to see Chad Michael Murray try to romance Hilary Duff?
01:05:28
And it's like, well, no question.
01:05:30
Hilary Duff, Absolutely. Yeah, Yeah, he's back.
01:05:33
He was back in Chad, the the Chad store.
01:05:35
He was in the new Freaker Friday.
01:05:38
I think I, I think he, he made a comeback, Chad.
01:05:40
Is back. Chad is back One Tree Hill.
01:05:43
Chad is back. What have you been doing with
01:05:46
your time? I just.
01:05:48
Moving on. So we're going to go to episode
01:05:50
number whatever movie 590. 590 This will round us out at 10 for
01:05:57
the episode. OK OK, OK, First off, we just
01:06:01
missed all the Harry Potters, so we don't get to talk about those
01:06:04
today. But #590 on our database is 1997
01:06:08
Disney's Hercules. Nice.
01:06:11
Now we're talking. Now we're talking.
01:06:13
Now we're cooking. This is the movie you did watch
01:06:15
as a kid, but then we've both seen since.
01:06:18
I've seen it, I'm familiar. I'm familiar.
01:06:21
Hilary Duff said it. Hilary Duff, the Chad McMurray.
01:06:24
He's pretty strong or something. He's got a cat.
01:06:28
He's not having a cat. OK.
01:06:32
I mean, this one, now we're now we're having a real
01:06:33
conversation. Hercules 97.
01:06:35
This is like the middle of the Disney Renaissance of the 90s, a
01:06:41
mostly unbroken streak of like landmark animated films.
01:06:46
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I think it, I mean, I
01:06:49
think it's after the fact of this, of course, but yeah, the
01:06:52
typically referred to as like the Disney Renaissance era.
01:06:55
If you grew up and during a certain time period, there was
01:06:58
many people's VHS collections, they had that like big like
01:07:02
chunky, like white plastic container.
01:07:06
Yeah. What was with that?
01:07:07
It was like Avhs case that was like bigger than all your other
01:07:10
VHS cases. I'm guessing that was a way to
01:07:14
make the movies pop out for kids like in video stores.
01:07:18
Like if they were bigger it'd be easier to see.
01:07:20
Yeah, 'cause most of those VHS tapes just have those cardboard
01:07:23
sleeves, but all the of those Disney movies from that era had
01:07:28
that. Yeah, that that big white
01:07:30
plastic that opened up like a book.
01:07:33
Yeah, so anyway, Hercules, pretty good.
01:07:35
That's all we have to say about Hercules.
01:07:36
That's. All we have to say about
01:07:37
Hercules? No, Hercules has got to be near
01:07:40
the top of the list as it stands so far.
01:07:43
I mean, it's a pretty like unassailably good children's
01:07:47
animated movie. Yeah, no, it's great.
01:07:49
I mean, like the music is fun. The animation of that era.
01:07:55
I mean, Disney really was putting out like hit after hit,
01:07:57
you know, like with might have started.
01:07:59
I don't remember what the first one might have been.
01:08:01
Little Mermaid. But I don't know.
01:08:03
I know Beauty and the Beast is 93.
01:08:07
Something predates that though. Maybe it's The Little Mermaid.
01:08:10
I don't know. But yeah, all very good.
01:08:12
All kind of just fit together. I mean, the the standout among
01:08:15
those standouts is maybe Lion King, but Hercules still very,
01:08:19
very good. Yeah, yeah, I I think Lion King
01:08:23
was probably my favorite of those grouping of films.
01:08:26
Like, if I had to pick one out of all those to rank the
01:08:29
highest, it would be Lion King. But Hercules was like just a
01:08:34
very incorrect retelling of of Greek mythology.
01:08:39
Very incorrect, I come to think of it.
01:08:43
Why don't we push it down a few places?
01:08:46
It was just all, you know, like completely reorganized for the
01:08:50
purposes of the story that they were telling.
01:08:52
But there was a lot of Hercules media from that time, too.
01:08:55
There was like the Kevin Sorbo Hercules TV show, which was a
01:08:58
lot of fun. True.
01:09:00
Yeah, it was in Greek mythology, was in.
01:09:03
Specifically Hercules though, like he was the poster boy.
01:09:08
I'm trying to think with Hercules, if I can think of
01:09:10
anything to like, knock it for. I mean, it's got just like all
01:09:13
the others from that time. It's got a great cast.
01:09:15
You have like Danny DeVito as Phil the Seder.
01:09:18
He gets a fun musical number in there.
01:09:20
I would say maybe it has like less like what's the morals?
01:09:25
What's the moral of Hercules? I feel like a lot of these other
01:09:28
Disney movies have pretty like good strong messages for kids.
01:09:32
Hercules trying to remember like, what they're even going
01:09:35
for with that one. Yeah, hit the hit the gym like.
01:09:43
Hit the gym, that's what I mean. Like actually it's like his main
01:09:48
song at the beginning Hercules himself is singing like I can go
01:09:51
the distance like I will go anywhere to find where I belong.
01:09:56
Like he obviously is. The story poorly retells.
01:09:59
He gets like essentially robbed from his cradle and taken out of
01:10:04
Olympus and brought down to Earth and raced as immortal.
01:10:07
But then he finds out he is a God and has like, you know,
01:10:09
superhuman strength and invulnerability.
01:10:12
And then he becomes Hercules and goes on all these trials and has
01:10:14
to deal with Hades. I feel like ultimately it's
01:10:17
probably just making a point about like your strength comes
01:10:20
from within. But some of that is muddled by
01:10:23
the actual like textual events of the story where like because
01:10:28
towards the end he gets his strength drained, that's like
01:10:30
the deal he makes with Haiti's to save his girlfriend.
01:10:32
If he like loses all of his strength and he can't do
01:10:35
nothing, he's. Just a wimp.
01:10:38
But then. But then his gains have
01:10:40
disappeared. He still had his gains, he still
01:10:43
had the BOD, he just didn't have the Super strength to go with
01:10:46
it. But then he saves the day by
01:10:50
like sacrificing himself to save Meg, and that's what gives him
01:10:57
his. Oh, he dives into the, like, pit
01:11:00
of souls, right? Or something.
01:11:03
There's like a swirling, like, abyss and he dives into it even
01:11:06
though they say that's going to kill him.
01:11:07
OK, so yeah, it's like strength comes from within.
01:11:11
But also hit the gym. It almost rhymes, yeah.
01:11:19
Strength comes from within ellipses.
01:11:26
Yeah. I mean, I don't know.
01:11:28
I was just trying to think of, like, anything to help place
01:11:30
Hercules amongst those other ones.
01:11:31
And I would say it's like a fun movie.
01:11:33
But the moral language in, like, Mulan is like, really powerful,
01:11:37
or even in, like, Lion King is really powerful.
01:11:39
Like, good stuff to talk to kids about.
01:11:42
Whereas I'm like, is a kid going to understand the point of
01:11:45
Hercules? Yeah, yeah, I, I just yesterday
01:11:48
I went to go see the new Anaconda movie with the Jack
01:11:53
Black, you know, and. Does that go at the bottom of
01:11:56
this list or? Well, we have to land on it
01:12:00
first, but there's just, there's just a, there's a recurring bit
01:12:05
in there because they're making their own movie and they're,
01:12:06
they're like writing it and they just keep saying like themes to
01:12:10
each other. You know, they're just like what
01:12:12
they're because they're trying to talk about like what the
01:12:14
original Anacondo was about or like what the theme of that
01:12:17
movie was. And they're writing their own
01:12:19
and they're just like themes. It's just like, that's where
01:12:23
we're at with Hercules. It's just like themes.
01:12:26
What is the theme of Hercules? Yeah, OK.
01:12:30
So Hercules, I guess setting the stage, I would put other Disney
01:12:35
Renaissance movies above Hercules.
01:12:37
Maybe not all of them, but some of them.
01:12:38
Where does it fit on the list as it stands now?
01:12:41
Well, I mean, definitely above Nick Nolte that that just kind
01:12:44
of goes without. Well, OK, yeah, we can go all
01:12:46
the way up the list. It's above Nick Nolte.
01:12:47
We don't even remember Sailor Moon.
01:12:50
Cinderella's story's got Hilary Duff.
01:12:51
That's a no. Does it pass?
01:12:54
Hot Fuss, I guess, is your first real barrier.
01:12:58
Honestly, maybe no, maybe no. OK, yeah.
01:13:04
What do you think? I think similarly, it's kind of
01:13:08
in that same campus, Jackie Chance, who am I?
01:13:10
Where it's like, if you've never seen one, it's going to blow
01:13:13
your mind. But like if you've seen the
01:13:14
previous ones, it feels just like another one.
01:13:17
Like it feels like them getting another, you know, practice Rep
01:13:20
in of like it's like practice at the highest level because it's
01:13:22
really good and like gorgeously animated and had such fun music.
01:13:25
But when you have other versions of the same thing that come
01:13:29
after and come before that are a little bit better, it does kind
01:13:34
of like push these back down where it's like, no, there's
01:13:37
just not really any reason to seek out Hercules.
01:13:38
If you've never seen a 90s Disney movie, you should start
01:13:42
Beauty and the Beast or Lion King or Mulan like any number of
01:13:45
other places. So maybe below Hot Fuzz, above
01:13:50
Big Short? Yeah, that feels right.
01:13:53
OK, Zero to hero. Zero to hero just like that.
01:13:59
OK, right, That's pretty good. We ranked ten movies out of
01:14:04
number of movies that exist and we'll be I guess that's we'll be
01:14:10
back in two weeks with regular meet Your double feature
01:14:12
programming. We're gearing up to start our
01:14:13
next full regular season of our program, which if you've never
01:14:17
tuned into that before, very basic premise.
01:14:19
Frank and I each recommend movies to each other that
01:14:21
neither of us have seen previously.
01:14:23
And then we review each one kind of telling each other the story
01:14:25
of the movie we were assigned just to find out who can give a
01:14:28
better blind movie recommendation.
01:14:30
It's a very fun show. If you've listened to us so far,
01:14:32
I'm sure that's probably why you're here now.
01:14:34
But if you haven't, please check out our previous episodes and
01:14:36
stay tuned for what we have coming up.
01:14:39
Frank, do you want to finish revealing the premise for our
01:14:42
upcoming new season of Meet Your Double Feature?
01:14:45
Yeah. Are we allowed to now?
01:14:47
Like this is an official drop. I think so, because this
01:14:50
episode's going out in the regular episode time slot on
01:14:53
Thursday, and then two weeks from now will be Season 2,
01:14:57
episode one. Kind of like resetting the board
01:14:59
on the point totals and stuff that we've discussed so far.
01:15:02
Fresh, clean slate. And yeah, why don't you let the
01:15:04
folks know the premise? Cool.
01:15:07
So Sailor Moon, she has this cat, right?
01:15:11
And no. I mean, yes she does, but no SO.
01:15:20
For Season 1, we did forgotten 90s movies because that was a
01:15:24
fun sort of playground for us to to mess around in.
01:15:27
But for Season 2, which we think will be a shorter season, but
01:15:33
we're going to do forgotten superhero films because, well,
01:15:40
you know, why not? But.
01:15:41
Why not? We've got a lot of.
01:15:43
Episodes to do so gotta do something gotta do.
01:15:49
Something now. I think the premise was that
01:15:53
much like how we were fans of the Star Wars prequels before
01:15:56
everybody else was, we also grew up reading comic books and stuff
01:16:00
that predate the modern, like Marvel Cinematic Universe and
01:16:04
modern DC stuff. And there was this whole age
01:16:07
where they were releasing the odd superhero movie and like
01:16:09
none of them performed well, nobody liked them.
01:16:12
A ton of them went completely under the radar.
01:16:14
But they all feel so unique now because they were individual
01:16:18
projects and not part of like a 15 movie long arc.
01:16:23
And so I think it'd be fun to go back and introduce each other to
01:16:26
some like, forgotten films from that free 2008 era and just look
01:16:31
at like, what superhero movies used to be like in the movie
01:16:33
world. Yeah, and we're going to try and
01:16:35
dig deep, you know, and not stretch too far that like what a
01:16:40
superhero movie is. I think they'll all still very
01:16:42
much be superhero movies, but they could be so many different
01:16:46
things before, but now they've all become very sanitized and
01:16:50
and similar. So it, it will be interesting, I
01:16:54
think to kind of poke around and and see what we can find there.
01:16:57
So you see in Iron Man 2, right? He has the Whips and he's on the
01:16:59
racetrack. Yeah, and he's got the whips on
01:17:02
the race tracks. We should probably start there.
01:17:04
Yeah, like those cars are going like really fast.
01:17:06
Really fast, but they fell down because he hit him with the
01:17:09
whips. Because he hit him with the
01:17:10
whips. Yeah, it's good.
01:17:12
Yeah, good. Yep.
01:17:18
Can you imagine if, like, that's the format for ranking every
01:17:21
movie ever made? If we just, like, Peter out, we
01:17:23
just don't even say bye. It just ends.
01:17:27
I think we should. Yeah, stop.
01:17:29
That's fine. Thank you for joining us for the
01:17:31
first episode of our new supplementary series, Ranking
01:17:35
Every Movie Ever Made. Please let us know by liking,
01:17:38
favoriting, commenting, sharing, whatever you need to do.
01:17:41
Let us know what you thought of this new format, because for us,
01:17:44
I think it's really fun. It's a great way to tackle the
01:17:47
massive library of movies that Frank and I have previously seen
01:17:50
before starting Meet Your Double Feature.
01:17:52
So I think it's a really great supplement for us.
01:17:55
But let us know if you like the format, if you want to see
01:17:56
changes, if you want to see us banned from the Internet for
01:17:59
putting a tack on the clone so high.
01:18:02
Come at me. What'd you say?
01:18:05
I said come at me, come at me it.
01:18:09
You cut out in the call, and it honestly is not like you got
01:18:12
like bleeped by Discord, like you were just like cursing out
01:18:14
the audience. All right, we're going.
01:18:20
We'll do it for this first episode of ranking every movie
01:18:23
Ever made TuneIn in two weeks when we return with a brand new
01:18:27
season of Beat Your Double Feature.
01:18:28
And until then, Frank's going to send us out.
01:18:32
Yeah, so I don't remember her cat's name, but he's got this
01:18:36
like thing on his head. And no, we're not talking about
01:18:42
that anymore.