Thomas and Frank discuss a new pair of films, exploring important topics such as "how do twins living in California and Hong Kong both grow up to have Jean Claude Van Damme's Belgian Accent?"
First, Thomas reviews "Double Impact" (1991). Then, Frank reviews "Solider" (1998).
It's an action-packed 90s Double Feature, and it starts right now!
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Meet Your Double Feature is a double-blind movie review podcast hosted by brothers Thomas and Frank. Thomas is an event producer and broadcaster from Chicago. Frank is an independent filmmaker living in Los Angeles.
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"The Shakedown" by Dresden, The Flamingo
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"Sophistikitty" by Cast of Characters
(00:00) Intro
(00:50) Double Impact (1991)
(38:53) Soldier (1998)
(01:16:40) Final Scores and Wrap-Up
(01:28:34) Outro
00:00:09
Tonight on Meet Your Double Feature, after being separated
00:00:13
at birth, twins Alex and Chad reunite to track down the men
00:00:17
that murdered their parents. Jean-Claude Van Damme and
00:00:21
Jean-Claude Van Damme star in Double Impact.
00:00:25
Then, after being left for dead on a distant planet, Sergeant
00:00:28
Todd 3465 must defend his new home against the men that cast
00:00:33
him out. Kurt Russell stars in Soldier.
00:00:37
It's an action-packed double feature, and it starts right
00:00:41
now. All right, Frank, welcome back
00:00:52
episode 4 of Meet Your Double Feature.
00:00:54
How you doing today? Good, excited.
00:00:57
Excited for episode 4? This guy, he's always excited.
00:00:59
One of these days, I am actually.
00:01:02
Oh, you actually are. OK.
00:01:03
I didn't want that to feel like you had to because you can tell
00:01:06
me like if we start and you're like, I'm just having the worst
00:01:08
day, I'd be like, all right. Then we just skip the whole
00:01:10
episode. Yeah, microphones down.
00:01:12
Hard to hurt. Anyway, welcome back to the
00:01:15
show. We have two more exciting movies
00:01:17
to review for you today. And I don't know if we need much
00:01:20
preamble. I think we can get right into
00:01:22
it. I think I go first today, right?
00:01:25
Yeah. Mm hmm.
00:01:27
OK, so first movie on the docket again.
00:01:29
If you caught the end of our previous episode, you'll already
00:01:32
know what this is. But Frank, you selected for me
00:01:34
to watch 1991's Double Impact starring Jean-Claude Van Damme.
00:01:39
And get this, Jean-Claude Van Damme.
00:01:42
Oh yeah, Which is exactly why I picked it.
00:01:44
I was, I was. This was like a pic that I was
00:01:47
jealous of because I wanted to watch this movie.
00:01:49
But I was like this will be a good good one for you.
00:01:52
Yeah, 'cause I think, I mean, we both like Jean-Claude Van Damme,
00:01:55
We've seen several of his movies each, but this one just never,
00:01:59
never popped up for either one of us before now.
00:02:01
Dude, I love Jean-Claude Van Damme.
00:02:05
He's just such an interesting, I don't know, like action movie
00:02:09
star. He's very unique.
00:02:10
He's very unique. So I'm I am excited to to hear
00:02:13
your thoughts on this one. He is unique.
00:02:15
I do think that a lot of his movies have similar traits, like
00:02:19
he must have some level of input over the movies he was working
00:02:22
on in the 80s and 90s because a lot of them have similar
00:02:25
elements and a lot of that pops up here.
00:02:27
But what does make it stand out is that unlike most of his
00:02:30
movies, he is forced to play characters.
00:02:33
I think like a lot of action stars and especially martial
00:02:36
arts action stars, they usually just kind of play as themselves.
00:02:39
But because as the premise will explain, he's playing himself
00:02:43
and his own twin brother, he has to actually like play 2 distinct
00:02:47
roles. And that is genuinely a
00:02:49
challenge for someone who I would not say is like a
00:02:51
classically trained actor by any means.
00:02:54
No, I mean how does he do though?
00:02:56
Well, I mean, to get right into it, the premise for Double
00:02:59
Impact is about what you would expect, I think going into the
00:03:03
movie. I wasn't, you know, looking for
00:03:05
any sort of genuine emotional drama.
00:03:08
And I think if you hear that premise, it's Jean-Claude Van So
00:03:20
it's not like it doesn't deliver on the premise, but the way we
00:03:22
get to it is genuinely pretty amusing right off the bat.
00:03:26
Oh interesting. OK, I actually didn't expect
00:03:28
them to fight each other, but I'm glad.
00:03:31
Oh, that was my first thought. That was my first thought was
00:03:35
like, because you and I both know because we've seen stuff
00:03:37
from this era that a movie from the 90s about two act like 2
00:03:41
characters played by 1 actor is we're going to get a lot of
00:03:43
weird cinematography. We're going to get shots that
00:03:46
are like static frames split down the middle with one take on
00:03:50
the left of the screen and one on the right.
00:03:51
And they're going to try to create this illusion that
00:03:53
they're having a conversation when we know it was just filmed
00:03:56
separately. And I just the whole time was
00:03:59
like, this has to end with him fighting himself.
00:04:01
And I'm so curious how they're going to do that.
00:04:03
But to to just kind of set the board here.
00:04:06
The premise of the movie is that Jean-Claude Van Damme plays two
00:04:09
twins who were the sons of some kind of British businessman
00:04:16
working in Hong Kong. Their parents are both
00:04:19
assassinated when they are like newborn babies.
00:04:21
There's some sort of business deal going on.
00:04:24
And the guy who was working with their father betrays him.
00:04:28
Basically has like a Batman moment where like the parents
00:04:30
get gunned down in front of the two baby twins and then the kids
00:04:34
survive because they're rescued by their father's like right
00:04:36
hand man security guard. But due to a set of
00:04:39
circumstances they grow up separately.
00:04:41
One of the twins is rescued by the security guard and goes back
00:04:44
to America and the other one inexplicably is left behind.
00:04:48
It like a French orphanage in Hong Kong and has to grow up
00:04:53
with as like a criminal living on the streets.
00:04:56
I was going to ask because you were saying like British father
00:04:59
Hong Kong and I was like, where's Jean Claude's accent
00:05:03
come into? This.
00:05:04
Yes, this was my first note. Every Jean-Claude Van Damme
00:05:07
movie shies away from the fact that the man is from Belgium.
00:05:10
It is a thick. Accent.
00:05:12
They always try to come up with some convoluted scheme to
00:05:15
explain why he's actually French and I did look up that.
00:05:19
I mean French is one of the primary languages spoken in
00:05:21
Belgium but the accent is different and it's so obvious.
00:05:24
But for some reason all of his movies A feel the need to
00:05:27
explain in the 1st place why he has an accent and B.
00:05:31
It never makes any sense Like the one twin.
00:05:35
When the movie like fast forwards and we see them played
00:05:37
by Jean Claude. He's in like, Florida, but they
00:05:40
sneak in a line that he spent most of his childhood in France
00:05:43
to explain the accent. But then the other twin spent
00:05:46
his whole life in Hong Kong. And the only thing we have to go
00:05:49
on is that the orphanage he was dropped off at was run by like,
00:05:52
a French nun. And it's like, OK, so they came
00:05:55
out sounding the same. What a coincidence.
00:05:59
Yeah. It's so strange.
00:06:00
Like, they. I don't think anybody needed
00:06:03
these explanations. Like, if you watched an Arnold
00:06:05
Schwarzenegger movie in the 80s or 90s, Like he's famously an
00:06:09
Austrian actor who has a similarly, like, thick accent.
00:06:12
I don't think he often tries to explain where he's from.
00:06:14
He's just like, I'm the Terminator.
00:06:15
And they're like, OK. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
00:06:19
Actually, even as a machine they don't try and explain his
00:06:22
accent. There's no reason to spend any
00:06:25
time on it, but this movie got 2 in its own head about it because
00:06:29
again, hit their parents. They're either British or
00:06:31
Australian. I couldn't exactly tell, but
00:06:34
why? Why bother?
00:06:35
We don't need this. It's an action movie.
00:06:37
No one's going to be holding it to that kind of standard for
00:06:39
like logical consistency. But regardless, that's our
00:06:43
premise. The two twins, they grow up
00:06:44
apart not knowing that the other one exists.
00:06:47
One of them grows up in the care of their father's like right
00:06:50
hand man, essentially Alfred from Batman.
00:06:52
Like that's kind of the dynamic we have here, except if Alfred
00:06:55
was like just kind of lame in almost every aspect.
00:07:00
OK. Because he's not.
00:07:02
He's shown to be like a competent security guy who ends
00:07:06
up saving the two twins from being murdered on the night that
00:07:09
their parents were killed. And he, like, shoots out a
00:07:12
couple of the bad guys and runs off.
00:07:13
But then when we flash forward to the present, he's just this
00:07:16
like, balding karate slash aerobics instructor working with
00:07:20
one of the two Jean Claude's. And you're like, OK, this is our
00:07:23
guy. He's also named Frank, which I
00:07:25
thought was funny. Oh wait, slash aerobics.
00:07:28
Is he teaching aerobics classes? I don't think he teaches
00:07:31
aerobics, but Jean Claude supposedly does both because
00:07:34
that's how we're introduced to our Americanized Jean Claude
00:07:38
twin. I guess this is another point in
00:07:40
my notes, but the two names given to the twins are Alex and
00:07:44
Chad. And ironically, the one who's
00:07:47
like super lame and not cool is not he's Chad.
00:07:50
Oh, OK, They're trying to subvert the stereotype that goes
00:07:54
with that name. I think it was probably that it
00:07:57
didn't exist yet, but I did find that funny that it's like it
00:08:00
kind of felt like the Chad Jean Claude versus the virgin Jean
00:08:04
Claude meme. But instead like Chad is the
00:08:06
lame one. But his introduction as an adult
00:08:09
character is that he is teaching an aerobics class.
00:08:12
And like in all Jean Claude movies, we spend a lot of time
00:08:15
like sexualizing him for some reason.
00:08:17
Like it's a room full of women in like 80s Pilates outfit, but
00:08:20
like the frame is just centered on Jean Claude Van Damme's.
00:08:22
But while he's doing the splits and I'm like, OK, this is like
00:08:25
contractual. Why is this in all of his
00:08:27
movies? Oh, I think that's a that's a
00:08:29
John Claude thing. I think he wants that in his
00:08:32
movies. That's what I mean, there's,
00:08:34
there's these beats that we hit in almost all of his films that
00:08:37
I've seen. And this, this one was no
00:08:38
exception right off the bat. But he gets interrupted from
00:08:41
teaching his aerobics class by Frank, his who he calls his
00:08:44
uncle who raised him. And he says like, Hey, can you
00:08:47
step in and teach the karate class?
00:08:49
I got to go talk to this guy. And then he walks over and and
00:08:52
basically just demonstrates that he also knows karate.
00:08:55
Sorry, I was just picturing them like they're doing like a an
00:08:57
aerobics class and then he brings Frank in and he just
00:09:00
starts like spin kicking these people.
00:09:02
They're just they're like stretch.
00:09:04
No, it's. Not like this is now a karate
00:09:06
class. It's karate class now.
00:09:10
Yeah, that'd be really funny. But no, alas, he he goes to a
00:09:16
separate room and tries to teach karate, and they basically just
00:09:19
want to show you off the bat that Jean Claude is like a
00:09:21
trained martial arts guy. He does some cool kicks, but the
00:09:24
plot basically kicks off right after that because he goes into
00:09:27
his Uncle Frank's office and he says like, hey, what's the deal?
00:09:29
And his uncle says we need to go to Hong Kong.
00:09:31
And he won't tell him why. But the viewer has already shown
00:09:34
that they've located his twin brother, who presumably the
00:09:37
uncle has been searching for this whole time.
00:09:39
But we're not. It's never really made all that
00:09:41
clear, but the two of them go to Hong Kong and then the first act
00:09:44
of the movie is basically like a short lived mistaken identity
00:09:49
comedy bit where like he goes into town in Hong Kong and
00:09:52
everybody there is either like acting like they're afraid of
00:09:54
him or giving him money or all this other stuff or just giving
00:09:58
him a lot of attention. And so Chad, our nice boy Jean
00:10:02
Claude is like, wow, this is a weird place, huh?
00:10:04
But then it goes sour because he bumps into his twins girlfriend
00:10:10
and they like she's about to try to like hook up with him but
00:10:14
then the other twin shows up and basically like immediately head
00:10:17
butts this man in the face. As you do see, somebody just
00:10:21
looks just like you trying to steal your girlfriend.
00:10:23
You got to headbutt him. Got to headbutt him, and as
00:10:26
we'll see, that's actually one of the heals.
00:10:27
Jean Claude's signature moves. They try to differentiate how
00:10:30
they fight. And the main thing about Alex,
00:10:32
the kind of like Rugged 1, is that he headbutts people a lot.
00:10:36
It's a dirty tactic, I guess. It is a dirty tactic.
00:10:38
He also snaps several people's necks, but we'll get into that
00:10:41
the the premise from there. Again, you would assume with how
00:10:46
the story began that we would really drag out this part where
00:10:49
there's two of the same guy in town and people keep mistaking
00:10:52
one for the other and they haven't even run into each other
00:10:55
yet. But all of that is introduced
00:10:56
and then resolved in like 3 or 4 minutes of screen time.
00:10:59
And for the rest of the movie we have almost no capitalization on
00:11:03
that idea. Like they don't really
00:11:04
successfully trick anybody and into thinking they had the wrong
00:11:07
one or anything like that. It's all just a setup so that
00:11:10
they can be like at odds with each other when they first meet.
00:11:14
Do they like prior to this? Did they know the other one
00:11:17
existed? I believe they did not.
00:11:20
There's the the, the Uncle Frank has to explain to both of them
00:11:24
that they're brothers and that he knows what happened to their
00:11:27
parents because he happened to see that the person who ordered
00:11:32
the hit on them was their business partner on this deal.
00:11:35
They were closing when the movie opens in the flashback.
00:11:38
So he's aware that there's these two businessmen, one of whom is
00:11:41
also British and one of whom I think is Hong Kong based, that
00:11:45
they just need to get revenge on because they are responsible for
00:11:48
getting their parents killed. And so he pulls them both
00:11:50
together and basically just tell them to go on like a murder
00:11:53
revenge mission, which they eventually do.
00:11:58
He tells them to do this. He says you got to go.
00:12:01
It's not really clear. Like, their plan is not like we
00:12:05
need to expose them and get them sent to jail.
00:12:07
It's kind of just we need to dismantle their illegal
00:12:10
operations. And by the end of the movie,
00:12:11
it's like we're going to, you know, murder them.
00:12:14
So it's not very complicated, which I suppose is fine for this
00:12:18
kind of story. Oh, yeah, totally.
00:12:21
So once we get both Jean Claude's together, obviously
00:12:23
this is where the movie picks up, but also where some of its
00:12:25
limitations begin because as again, we've seen, a movie from
00:12:28
the 1990s does not have very complicated technology to
00:12:31
convince you that there's 2 Jean Claude's on the screen at the
00:12:33
same time. So we either get the
00:12:34
aforementioned like split down the middle shot of them acting
00:12:38
opposite, you know, probably a stand in and trying to match up
00:12:41
the eye lines and such. Or we do like two people are on
00:12:46
screen, but one of them is obviously a body double and
00:12:48
they're just not showing their face, you know?
00:12:51
Oh 100% yeah. Yeah, a lot of over the
00:12:53
shoulders. Yeah, exactly like you said.
00:12:55
Over the shoulders or even just kind of shooting it like shot
00:12:58
reverse shots that you see one guy's face and then you see the
00:13:00
other person's reaction that they, they use every trick that
00:13:03
they had available to them for the time.
00:13:05
And I do think that they didn't shy away from it too much.
00:13:09
They tried their best to create opportunities to actually put
00:13:12
both of their faces on screen at once.
00:13:14
And so they get credit for that. I'm sure that's really
00:13:16
complicated and they they did their best, but it does to a
00:13:20
modern viewer look very silly. Yeah.
00:13:22
I mean, especially of that era there, there was like I think we
00:13:26
mentioned Parent Trap last week when we were introducing this
00:13:30
this movie and like that's like a good, I mean, obviously it's
00:13:33
not perfect throughout the whole film, but that's a good example
00:13:36
from something of a similar era that did that really well.
00:13:39
But yeah, there's a lot of there's way more examples of it
00:13:42
not looking as good as that. Again, I think the most relevant
00:13:48
thing that it reminded me of is that episode of Power Rangers
00:13:50
where they make White Ranger Tommy fight evil Green Ranger
00:13:54
Tommy. And they do that like gag of
00:13:56
them kind of like staring each other down.
00:13:58
And it just looks a bit funny because again, they took someone
00:14:00
who's not much of an actor and we're like, play 2 versions of
00:14:02
yourself. And they were like.
00:14:07
Yeah, yeah. But at least in that they could,
00:14:09
they could cover them up in the suits later too, because then
00:14:11
they could. Exactly so.
00:14:12
That was my thinking the whole time because as the movie wore
00:14:15
on, I was like, I don't think we are going to get this fight
00:14:17
scene between the two Jean Claude's.
00:14:19
I I might have. Oh, I thought they fought right.
00:14:23
Away I thought he head butted him and then they just started
00:14:25
duking it out. Not quite.
00:14:27
So the head butt is the Classic Cinema like knocked out
00:14:31
transition that never makes any sense where he somehow passed
00:14:34
out for like several hours and then woke up and was just like
00:14:36
not, you know, brain dead. Yeah, yeah, there's something
00:14:40
actually foreshadowing something similar happens in Soldier, so
00:14:44
we'll get to that later too, OK? Fantastic.
00:14:47
So anyway, plot wise, there's not a lot that you really need
00:14:49
to recap for this movie. It's a martial arts action movie
00:14:52
featuring a lot of punching and kicking and and and shooting
00:14:57
people with guns. It's exactly what you would
00:14:58
expect. They give themselves a couple of
00:15:00
set pieces to do so, but the plot generally is that the two
00:15:05
brothers do try to essentially uncover the criminal operations
00:15:10
of these people who are responsible for their parents
00:15:12
death. And part of their plan to do so
00:15:15
is that Alex, the like rugged one from Hong Kong, his
00:15:18
girlfriend is actually working coincidentally for one of these
00:15:21
two businessmen already. And so she has to try to uncover
00:15:25
some concrete proof that what Uncle Frank is saying is
00:15:27
correct. And then by the end she
00:15:30
naturally gets captured and so does Uncle Frank and they have
00:15:32
to go save them both. And we get like because there's
00:15:35
two business people, villains, we kind of get like 2 separate
00:15:39
conclusions with each twin and that's about it.
00:15:41
So plot wise, not a lot to break down, but I do think where the
00:15:45
movie deserves a lot of focus is on how they characterize these
00:15:48
two performances from from Jean-Claude Van I think he
00:15:59
almost gets it almost just in the sense that what's on the
00:16:03
page helps him out. So Chad, the American twin, he
00:16:07
is supposed to be a like naive, boisterous kind of ladies man in
00:16:13
his 20s who is in over his head with all of these like illegal
00:16:17
crime operations and has to kind of mature a bit to get, you
00:16:22
know, get his head in the game and get involved enough to
00:16:23
actually help save the day at the end.
00:16:26
Whereas Alex the like evil twin, essentially his whole thing is
00:16:30
that he literally like isn't illegal smuggler.
00:16:32
He's selling people like foreign imported cars and cigarettes and
00:16:36
stuff. So he's he's a little bit more
00:16:38
hard nosed, but he gets the interesting caveat that he has a
00:16:41
girlfriend and actually cares very much about this person.
00:16:45
He's not. They don't undercut that by
00:16:47
making him like a jerk to her or anything.
00:16:48
A lot of the movie is driven by the fact that Alex genuinely
00:16:52
loves his girlfriend and is trying to keep her safe.
00:16:54
I was. Going to say this is.
00:16:54
I mean I don't know when this game came out but this is
00:16:59
basically the plot of Double Dragon too it.
00:17:02
Is it's very similar to the plot of Double Dragon, which is funny
00:17:06
because it actually has one of the same shortcomings as the
00:17:08
movie adaptation of Double Dragon.
00:17:10
Because I saw that not that long ago too.
00:17:12
And it's in a similar boat where they have a movie about martial
00:17:15
arts action, but rather than choreograph interesting martial
00:17:20
arts sequences, they kind of just throw the occasional kick
00:17:24
that like immediately takes someone down and then go back to
00:17:26
shooting their guns, you know what I mean?
00:17:27
Oh. That's a shame because isn't
00:17:30
what's his name? Bolo Young is in this movie as
00:17:32
well, right? Bolo Young is in this movie, who
00:17:34
people would remember as the villain from Bloodsport, which
00:17:37
is probably Jean Claude's most famous film.
00:17:40
It is a reunion of those two, and we do get another fight
00:17:43
between those two. Bolo essentially becomes the
00:17:45
main obstacle for Chad, the American twin.
00:17:50
Oh, just him. I was just going to say, I would
00:17:52
have assumed Bolo was, you know, like Broly, and he needed to
00:17:57
fight both Jean Claude Van Damme's.
00:17:59
Well, again, this is where some of the limitations in what they
00:18:03
could depict on screen come into play.
00:18:04
A lot of the climax of the movie, and in fact a lot of the
00:18:07
middle of the movie, make sure to split them up either in
00:18:09
completely different locations or fighting different people in
00:18:14
different rooms. So like the third act set piece,
00:18:16
they're on like a big boat, which they just use like a
00:18:20
warehouse interior to be like the bowels of the ship.
00:18:23
And they both get their own one-on-one fight against like a
00:18:26
major hench men. And then they both get to
00:18:29
confront one of the two evil businessmen and the whole thing,
00:18:32
it takes place kind of separately.
00:18:34
Interesting. OK.
00:18:35
I yeah, I mean, I get, I get why I get why they they did it that
00:18:38
way. But yeah.
00:18:40
So those elements, again, there's almost not a lot to even
00:18:43
sift through. If you've seen a 90s action
00:18:46
movie, you've seen this kind of story before.
00:18:48
None of it's all that interesting.
00:18:50
I do think, again, going back to the characterization, Jean
00:18:54
Claude tries his best to play Chad, the American twin.
00:18:58
Again, is this more like silly, a little bit more jokey, Not
00:19:03
like he's really cracking jokes the whole time, but he's just a
00:19:05
more aloof character. Whereas his portrayal of Alex is
00:19:09
very like, serious. Alex isn't very funny, but that
00:19:13
comes back around because Alex does the funniest thing in the
00:19:15
whole movie in the middle of the second act.
00:19:17
Oh good. Amazing.
00:19:18
Because the to to flesh out the plot a little bit more, at a
00:19:22
certain point in the movie, the two twins and Uncle Frankie go
00:19:26
to a like, abandoned hotel in this tiny island off the shore
00:19:30
of Hong Kong. And that's like their base of
00:19:32
operations. And then later in the story,
00:19:34
like the bad guys show up and there's a brawl during that
00:19:37
segment. And then they escape to set up
00:19:38
the end. But there's this whole beat
00:19:41
where they can only get to this island by boat, and they only
00:19:43
have one boat. So there's this plot line where
00:19:46
Alex's girlfriend, Danielle, is in trouble, and she tries to
00:19:50
contact the two twins. Only Chad, the American guy, is
00:19:53
there. And so he goes to try to help
00:19:55
her while the other two are just like off on the island
00:19:59
somewhere. And then when they find out
00:20:00
about it, they can't get there. They're like, oh, he needs to
00:20:02
come back with the flippin boat or else we're never going to get
00:20:05
over there. But then in the interim, Alex is
00:20:10
somehow convinced that his girlfriend is cheating on him
00:20:13
with his twin. Again, this this plot point
00:20:16
comes back. Yes, because that that beat
00:20:19
happens at the beginning where she genuinely mistakes American
00:20:23
twin for her boyfriend because she doesn't know he has a twin.
00:20:26
But then later in the story he becomes convinced through a
00:20:30
miscommunication that she actually is cheating on him with
00:20:32
his twin. And his solution to this, while
00:20:34
there's this whole action beat going on on the mainland with
00:20:38
Chad and Danielle, you know, rude boy Alex is just sitting on
00:20:42
their little hotel like base just drinking alcohol and being
00:20:45
sad because again, they didn't want to have to put both of them
00:20:49
in that action sequence. And he has nothing to do in the
00:20:52
interim. So he's just sitting there
00:20:53
drinking and spends, I kid you not, I think over 2 minutes of
00:20:59
screen time visualizing his girlfriend having sex with his
00:21:02
twin as a way to tell the viewer that he is worried that she is
00:21:07
cheating on him. And it is the weirdest, most
00:21:10
uncomfortable scene in cinema history.
00:21:13
What's really What do you mean because the.
00:21:16
OK, so as we said, a lot of Jean Claude Van Damme's movies, he
00:21:19
kind of like makes himself the object of desire.
00:21:22
And there's a lot of stories where he'll have a love
00:21:23
interest, but they're not super like leery, you know, they're
00:21:27
not very male gaze kind of putting in a bunch of naked
00:21:29
women or anything. But this one, I guess felt
00:21:32
obligated to have a sex scene in the middle and they had no idea
00:21:35
how to fit it in the movie. So the way they show it is that
00:21:38
he, the other twin, because he's worried he's being cheated on,
00:21:41
imagines a sex scene between his girlfriend and his twin brother
00:21:45
and we just keep intercutting between the sex scene and him
00:21:48
stumbling around drinking for like an abhorrently long time.
00:21:53
Oh, that is odd. That's not because, I mean, why
00:21:55
not just if you want that scene in there and you already have
00:21:59
one of John Claude Van Damme's characters with his girlfriend,
00:22:02
like just why? Why not just have them have a
00:22:04
sex scene like I? Don't know.
00:22:06
And it just goes on forever because we use every time we cut
00:22:10
back to Alex, we think, OK, now he does something right.
00:22:13
Nope, we're back. We're going back to the sex
00:22:15
scene and there's no audio over it.
00:22:16
And it's shot in a very strange way because it's supposed to be
00:22:19
almost like a dream. I hated it.
00:22:21
It was one of the weirdest things.
00:22:22
I've ever seen Oh, that's, I mean, it's not OK.
00:22:26
It sounds dumb. It does sound.
00:22:28
It does sound dumb. Extremely dumb.
00:22:31
You could cut that whole beat out.
00:22:32
The only thing we need to know is that he's worried she's
00:22:35
cheating on him. Because then when Chad and his
00:22:38
girlfriend get back, this is what cues the 2 Van Damme's to
00:22:42
get into a fight with each other because evil Van Damme has been
00:22:45
drinking. He's not making any sense.
00:22:47
We do also get a bit where his girlfriend tries to explain and
00:22:50
he like slaps her and I was like, OK, that's a that's a
00:22:52
bridge too far if his whole characterization is that he like
00:22:55
cares about her so much. So I didn't like that.
00:22:57
But then we get a very short, actual one-on-one fight scene
00:23:02
between the two van dams. OK, All right, so the one.
00:23:06
So they're both good guys really throughout the whole film.
00:23:09
It's just one is a little more hard boiled like you said.
00:23:14
Essentially, which I do think is maybe something they could have
00:23:17
approached differently. Because when he first shows up,
00:23:20
his whole dynamic is that he's a criminal himself.
00:23:22
He's doing like petty crime, he's just selling illegal goods.
00:23:25
But most of his criminal connections don't really come
00:23:29
into play. Like the bad guy tries to hire
00:23:32
him to do something, but he accidentally grabs the wrong
00:23:34
twins. So we get this interaction where
00:23:35
Chad is being approached by one of the villains and that moves
00:23:38
the plot along, but character wise they get on the same page
00:23:42
almost immediately. And other than this brief spat
00:23:45
where they're fighting each other, they don't really get in
00:23:48
each other's way at all. They try to work together and
00:23:50
then they have some hurdles but eventually succeed, Which I just
00:23:53
think is a oversimplification of a plot that could have gone in a
00:23:57
lot of more interesting directions.
00:23:59
Especially because this fight scene isn't really worth the
00:24:01
build up as we talked about, they have to shoot.
00:24:04
It mostly is like a shot, reverse shot thing where we see
00:24:07
Chad throw a kick and then we immediately cut to Alex selling
00:24:10
that he got hit with a kick. And then they kind of just like
00:24:12
brawl around for like 90 seconds and then it's over.
00:24:14
Well, I mean the other thing because it's this is I think you
00:24:19
would say falls into like the buddy cop movie genre.
00:24:24
And for sure, usually that genre has 2 characters that are very
00:24:29
distinct from one another, whereas both of these guys, one
00:24:33
maybe a little more nerdy I guess as you described him, but
00:24:37
they're both still like kick ass Kung Fu guys.
00:24:39
So it's like. Absolutely, this is the biggest
00:24:42
problem. These two needed to be
00:24:44
significantly different characters and I think the
00:24:47
easiest thing they could have done is make one of them more
00:24:50
karate focused and one of them more of like the guns guy.
00:24:53
Because even the poster for the movie says like 1 pack's a
00:24:56
punch, one pack's a pistol or something like that.
00:25:00
Oh, sure, yeah, that could have worked.
00:25:01
Like, yeah, like the one guy going around blasting people,
00:25:06
like the other one's much more of like, you know, pacifistic
00:25:10
martial arts Jackie Chan type guy.
00:25:12
I. Think that would have totally
00:25:13
helped it. Maybe it was like it was either
00:25:16
how it was scripted or it was just maybe a bit of an ego thing
00:25:18
for Van Damme that he needed both.
00:25:20
He's like inside of me. There are two wolves.
00:25:22
They are both very good at martial arts.
00:25:24
It's true. It is true though.
00:25:27
So I, I agree that that really would have helped here.
00:25:29
I guess you couldn't have had the one-on-one, but you could
00:25:32
have even leaned into the fact that despite their training,
00:25:35
Chad Van Damme was like more of an aerobics guy.
00:25:38
He could have been doing like, like judo throws or something,
00:25:40
you know, something more specific.
00:25:42
Because as it stands, once the action starts, it doesn't really
00:25:45
matter which Van Damme we're following.
00:25:47
And visually, the only difference between them is that
00:25:50
Alex Van Damme smokes a lot of cigars and has like slicked back
00:25:54
hair, and then Chad Van Damme just doesn't smoke and has like
00:25:57
normal hair. Yeah, it's it's Van Damme and
00:26:05
Cooler Van Damme is the 2 cooler.
00:26:07
Van Damme is essentially the problem.
00:26:08
Yeah, he's like, he's like, I'm just worried that Van Damme
00:26:12
thinks people can't change because he used to have his
00:26:15
slicked back hair. Yeah, exactly.
00:26:18
Exactly. He's basically that you could.
00:26:21
Have had the one like when they do fight, he's shooting at him
00:26:23
but the other guy's doing like aerobic stretches to get out of
00:26:26
to dodge the bullets and get out of the way that.
00:26:28
Would be pretty good. I just, yeah, that's the problem
00:26:30
too. Is that also Chad Van Damme
00:26:34
tries his best to look at a place.
00:26:36
Like there's a couple of funny bits.
00:26:38
Like when they first get to the island hideout, it's like a
00:26:41
completely broken down building. And Alex Van Damme has brought
00:26:44
like nothing with him but the cigar in his mouth.
00:26:45
Whereas Chad has like his suit pressed and is like hanging off
00:26:48
a hanger. And he's trying to like
00:26:50
daintily, like step over puddles so that he can go hang it up.
00:26:52
It's kind of like when Johnny Cage shows up in the first live
00:26:55
action Mortal Kombat and he's got all of his luggage and it
00:26:57
all falls in the water. It he's he's trying, but a lot
00:27:00
of that is in the script and not so much in Van Damme's
00:27:02
performance. Yeah.
00:27:03
Well, and it's funny, I mean, Johnny Cage, the character was
00:27:06
literally based on Jean-Claude Van Damme.
00:27:09
Like they. Oh, that's true.
00:27:10
Yeah. So it's.
00:27:12
'Cause his signature move in Mortal Kombat is the like doing
00:27:15
the splits and then punching the guy in the nuts.
00:27:17
Which is how Van Damme wins at the end of Bloodsport.
00:27:20
Yes, exactly. Exactly.
00:27:21
Yeah, actually. Come to think of it, we get
00:27:24
payback from Bloodsport cause at one point Bolo Young and Chad
00:27:28
Van Damme have a original encounter like halfway through
00:27:31
the movie and Chad Van Damme's doing pretty good, but Bolo gets
00:27:34
one over on him because he punches him in the nuts.
00:27:36
Oh, that's. Great.
00:27:37
See, I love that. I love that it's like a
00:27:39
continuation. It's like a.
00:27:42
Meta narrative yeah like their feud has continued and we do get
00:27:46
I will say the action beats at the end of the story are OK like
00:27:50
we do get more of a fight scene between Bolo and Chad.
00:27:54
We also have a fight scene between cool guy Alex and this
00:27:58
unnamed henchman whose gimmick is that he works for the Triads,
00:28:03
but he kind of looks like an Italian mobster.
00:28:06
And he has shoes with spurs as if he's a cowboy, but the spurs
00:28:10
are super sharp so he can stab people with them.
00:28:14
Good. Yeah, No, that's great.
00:28:15
That's all of. Which is great and you'd be
00:28:17
surprised at how little attention that gets.
00:28:19
I think he kills one guy with those super spurs and then
00:28:22
towards the end he fights Alex Van Dam and is trying to kick
00:28:25
him with the Spurs. So both of those fights are
00:28:28
decent and Bolo Young does get killed with basically a Mortal
00:28:31
Kombat fatality because they're inside the, you know, the like
00:28:36
cargo ship. And Chad Van Damme essentially
00:28:39
does the classic move where he kicks him into like a high
00:28:42
voltage like electrical box thing you got.
00:28:44
To watch out for those, you got to watch out for those.
00:28:47
Everybody knows you go anywhere near one of those boxes, you
00:28:49
just immediately get electrocuted even if it's
00:28:51
closed. But he gets knocked into one of
00:28:53
those and then it creates a spark that catches like a bunch
00:28:58
of barrels of gasoline on fire and blows up the whole ship.
00:29:00
So it's a very like big ending to that fight.
00:29:04
But again, you might have been better off trying to craft like
00:29:06
a two on one where they have to work together to beat Bolo
00:29:09
Young. That's.
00:29:10
What I was hoping for, yeah. Yeah, rather than one of the
00:29:13
twins fight this like nameless henchman who has no role in the
00:29:16
story. Yeah, especially because it's
00:29:18
like the the Bloodsport reunion that that would, that would have
00:29:22
been great. But it's OK, We got, we got
00:29:24
enough, I suppose. This is helping me hone in on
00:29:27
what I thought was frustrating about Double Impact because like
00:29:30
you were saying, it's a buddy cop movie.
00:29:32
They're not really at each other's throats.
00:29:33
We don't spend 2 acts in the movie with them working against
00:29:36
each other. They're on the same page.
00:29:37
They just don't get along. But again, because of how
00:29:41
complicated it is to shoot, the 2 van dams don't really talk
00:29:45
directly to each other that much.
00:29:47
They mostly speak through Uncle Frank as like an intermediary
00:29:51
for dialogue. And I think that's probably the
00:29:52
biggest thing that drags down the energy, is that there's just
00:29:55
not enough of like a banter. Yeah, exactly.
00:29:58
I mean, that's that's what makes like the buddy cop movie work.
00:30:02
It is is that these two characters, I mean rush hour is
00:30:05
the perfect example that you have these two completely
00:30:08
different characters that are like imagine.
00:30:11
If rush hour was too Jackie Chan's, and the only difference
00:30:14
was that one of them slicked his hair back and they never spoke.
00:30:18
Which would still be fun. I mean, that's the thing.
00:30:20
Like, that's that's kind of why I picked this movie, because I'm
00:30:22
like, this is going to be fun regardless.
00:30:24
But like and it is yeah, I, I. I think the movie is still fun
00:30:30
and odd. Oddly, my main take away when it
00:30:32
was over was this was not a fully realized idea.
00:30:36
But it is actually a pretty good vehicle for Jean-Claude Van
00:30:39
Damme because while he is primarily known for like, his
00:30:42
martial arts skills, he is a charismatic performer.
00:30:46
He's not like someone who you could trust to deliver, you
00:30:49
know, a super nuanced performance.
00:30:51
But just giving him these two very like, obvious contrasting
00:30:55
characters to play is fun. And I do think that if they were
00:30:58
to have made a sequel or done it again later with like something
00:31:02
that took advantage of that premise, you could have had a
00:31:04
much better movie. So I'm glad you brought that up
00:31:06
because I was reading the IMDb trivia and as recently as 2012
00:31:12
when Van Damme was promoting The Expendables 2, which I forgot he
00:31:16
was in, but while they're promoting.
00:31:18
So this is 2012. Like he was talking about
00:31:21
wanting to do a double impact too, which is just really
00:31:24
interesting to me over the course of his whole career that
00:31:27
like that, like far down the line, like this was the film
00:31:31
franchise he wanted to return to.
00:31:33
And I can read this was his quick pitch for what the rough
00:31:36
idea of the he. Has a yeah, he's got a story
00:31:39
pitch, yeah. Exactly.
00:31:40
He's into this, so he said during the interview.
00:31:43
He gave a rough idea of what the plot could be.
00:31:47
It would be two twins. 1 is coming back from Asia to Los
00:31:50
Angeles to help his brother, who is a con artist and pretending
00:31:53
to be a big Hollywood producer. And he's in trouble with the
00:31:56
mob. So I don't know if this is like
00:31:58
we're rebooting or if we're following up from.
00:32:02
That the first one would be confusing because that would
00:32:04
imply that nice guy Chad Van Damme had gotten into trouble
00:32:08
with the mob and had become a con artist.
00:32:11
Yes, but he also the other interesting thing too is on this
00:32:16
particular movie talking about Bobo young, Van Damme said he
00:32:19
specifically wanted Bobo Young for a double impact, but he also
00:32:23
wants him for the sequel and he wanted them to team up in this
00:32:26
one like he wanted them to be on the same side in the sequel,
00:32:30
which sounds like he died in this first one.
00:32:33
So I don't know I. Mean we didn't see a body he
00:32:35
could come back as like. I didn't hear Nobel.
00:32:38
I didn't hear Nobel. He could come back as like the
00:32:40
Human Torch or something. Wow.
00:32:43
Yeah. OK.
00:32:44
That's great. Or like.
00:32:46
The Phantom of the Opera. It's funny actually, because
00:32:48
he's already scarred because when the movie opens in the
00:32:51
flashback, he gets shot a couple of times by Uncle Frankie.
00:32:54
So when he pops up again in the present day story, he has like a
00:32:58
like a white, like solid eye and like a scar all over his face.
00:33:02
So it'd be pretty funny if he just kept coming back as like an
00:33:04
increasingly like scarred body of of Bolo Young.
00:33:08
And he's like, I got one more in me.
00:33:10
Wait, Uncle Frankie Kong shot Bolo Young He.
00:33:14
Did so at the beginning. It's again, it's kind of
00:33:17
Batmany, but it's more like a mob hit thing where the parents
00:33:19
are getting out of their car and these triad guys, including
00:33:21
Bolo, just like shoot both the parents.
00:33:24
But in order to rescue the baby twins, the uncle had to like
00:33:28
shoot a couple of the guys himself.
00:33:29
And he did clip Bolo like in the eye as he was getting away dude.
00:33:33
Another, you're just, you're previewing Soldier so much.
00:33:38
There's so many connections here.
00:33:39
Yeah, yeah. Well, I guess that makes it a
00:33:42
good double feature, huh? Yeah.
00:33:43
I suppose so. Look at us, look at us, look at
00:33:46
us. We did this.
00:33:51
Anyway. Anyway, yeah, what else can we
00:33:53
take credit for? I did have you were talking
00:33:55
about a sequel. It's so funny that that actually
00:33:57
was talked about because one of the things I did when I was
00:33:59
finished is I, because I want there to be a sequel.
00:34:02
I wrote down a list of potential titles for a sequel.
00:34:05
Oh yeah, let's hear those So. I'm thinking we got a couple
00:34:08
ways to go because the first one was not silly enough.
00:34:10
For instance, it says the movie is called Double Impact.
00:34:13
And then in the top of the credits, the first name that
00:34:15
kind of slams down just says Jean-Claude Van Damme.
00:34:18
And I was so expecting it to be like Jean-Claude Van So I think
00:34:27
you could call the next one Double Impact to the doubling
00:34:30
the. Doubling OK.
00:34:33
You could call it double, double impact, impact.
00:34:38
It's like a stylized title because that's kind of what it
00:34:40
looks like, the poster for this one says.
00:34:42
Oh, sure. Yeah, OK.
00:34:44
Or if we wanted a Simpsons reference it could be I'm C and
00:34:47
double here for Van Dams. Well, yeah, I mean, The Simpsons
00:34:52
one gets my vote if we're picking for that line up.
00:34:55
Or or alternatively, we could do triple impact and there could be
00:34:58
like a third twin and it's like the Austin Powers gag where we
00:35:01
just pan slightly over and there's like another baby in the
00:35:03
car. Well, that's what I was going to
00:35:06
say when you were saying like, his name drops in and then it
00:35:08
drops in again and then it just keeps dropping in.
00:35:11
You just, it's like, it's just like.
00:35:14
Spider Man across the multiverse, but it's just a
00:35:16
bunch of very slightly differential combatants.
00:35:20
It's got different sized cigars and stuff.
00:35:24
It's just, yeah. It's like I'm a martial artist
00:35:26
and I have glasses. Any pending questions about
00:35:33
Double Impact? Again, it's kind of a short
00:35:35
summary. The plot is whatever.
00:35:37
It's pretty boring. You get some satisfying villain
00:35:40
deaths at the end and you get 2 van dams.
00:35:43
Albeit it's really like 1 1/2 characters.
00:35:46
There's not enough to differentiate them.
00:35:48
Which is. Kind of funny, honestly.
00:35:50
Like it is. Kind of funny.
00:35:52
That almost makes it better, yeah.
00:35:53
It does actually that they couldn't do.
00:35:56
I mean, they it sounds like they tried.
00:35:58
It sounds like they tried to make I.
00:36:00
I think you described him as dainty.
00:36:02
The the more like clean cut Van Damme but at the end of the.
00:36:05
Day I would say that the the clean cut Van Damme is kind of
00:36:08
playing it like Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat, whereas the other
00:36:10
one is playing it just again, more villainous.
00:36:14
I do think that there are a lot of stories of twins separated at
00:36:17
birth who go on to have remarkably similar qualities.
00:36:21
Like it'll be like, oh, we both married someone named this and
00:36:25
then had a second wife who was also named the same thing.
00:36:27
Like so maybe that would be the better joke in the movie is if
00:36:30
their lives are like remarkably the same despite them trying to
00:36:33
push this. Like you grow up with everything
00:36:35
handed to you but then they just turned into the same guy.
00:36:38
Yeah, yeah. It could have been funny too, if
00:36:40
they just never had any issues either.
00:36:41
They just like, really. Like, this guy's awesome.
00:36:43
Like, yeah. We just become best friends.
00:36:46
Yeah, exactly. You want to go double impact
00:36:47
everybody? That sounds bad. 01 other point.
00:36:57
So last episode I talked about how as and we'll get into
00:37:00
ratings later, but I talked about how I subtracted a whole
00:37:03
point from Soap Dish because it had the classic 90s trans panic
00:37:07
ending, right? Yes, this does not have that.
00:37:11
But we do get multiple instances of Alex Van Damme calling Chad
00:37:17
Van Damme A homophobic slur. So whoa.
00:37:21
Jeez, it is so sharp. It's one of those things where
00:37:24
it's like, yeah, I guess in 1991 this wouldn't like turned as
00:37:26
many heads, but A it should have and B, it's jarring to watch
00:37:31
now. So I I do think that factors
00:37:33
into it should be a very silly movie, but a couple of things
00:37:37
like that kind of like sour the the vibes a bit.
00:37:41
Sure. Yeah, that I mean, that's that's
00:37:43
unfortunate. That isn't it's, you know, we're
00:37:46
exploring films that I think, as we said before, our product of
00:37:49
their time. But yeah, viewing it through a
00:37:52
modern lens, that sounds very cutting to to hear that.
00:37:55
Couldn't believe the film. Yeah, couldn't.
00:37:57
Believe he said it once, couldn't believe he said it
00:37:58
again. I was like, wow, he is doubling
00:38:01
down. Double impact.
00:38:04
Yeah, both been cancelled and just like, wow, we really are
00:38:11
alike. That's a fun movie too.
00:38:14
One of the John Claude's gets cancelled and then like the
00:38:16
other one has to like fill in for him.
00:38:18
He's he's cancelled from his crime syndicate.
00:38:21
Oh, there you go. We.
00:38:22
We sell, we sell drugs, but we draw the line at homophobic
00:38:26
slurs. Van Damme.
00:38:28
It's cryptography, just like. Super racist and homophobic.
00:38:32
And then just like we don't want that in our organization.
00:38:34
And there's like a guy tied up in the background.
00:38:36
There's like. An HR person that it's just
00:38:38
like, I'm sorry. All right, well, more than dozen
00:38:41
for Double impact. So we will head into our
00:38:44
intermission and then come back with Frank's review of 1998's
00:38:47
Soldier. OK, we are back now for review
00:38:57
#2 on the day, Frank, this was your film to watch that I
00:39:00
recommended 1998's Soldier. Before we hand it over to you, I
00:39:05
picked this one out again almost as a challenge to myself because
00:39:11
on paper I'm trying to recommend the best movie possible because
00:39:13
I want to win. I'm a winner.
00:39:16
But this movie has terrible reviews and I'm convinced that
00:39:20
you're going to like it anyway. Are the reviews terrible?
00:39:24
What do? How bad were they the.
00:39:26
Rotten Tomatoes score when I looked it up I want to say was
00:39:30
below 20% no. Are you?
00:39:32
I actually, I hang on, I'm going to look this up just yeah,
00:39:36
because like I rented the movie on some platform and it looks
00:39:40
like it had like A58I. Don't know if mine was showing
00:39:42
me the critics score or the user score.
00:39:44
Sometimes those are pretty different.
00:39:46
Yes, yes. So it is sitting on, it is at a
00:39:50
58 right now, but it's that's I actually don't know if that's
00:39:53
the. Weird.
00:39:55
OK, so maybe go go show me something funny.
00:39:57
But I definitely knew the movie was not well regarded.
00:39:59
But it stars Kurt Russell, who is a favorite for both of us,
00:40:03
and it was directed by, I think the name is.
00:40:06
Called WS Anderson, right? Yeah.
00:40:08
Yeah. Who directed a ton of Resident
00:40:12
Evil movies? And I know that there was a
00:40:13
point in time like 10 years ago where you were trying to make me
00:40:17
watch all those Resident Evil movies and I didn't.
00:40:19
But I know you like them. So that's that was my other
00:40:21
angle for why I think you might like Soldier.
00:40:23
Yeah, well, first of all, those movies are a lot of fun and you
00:40:25
should watch them, but those are going to be easy first.
00:40:29
Thing out of the way about soldier right watch Resident
00:40:31
Evil they're. Just they can't be.
00:40:33
They're fun. Yeah.
00:40:35
I, I actually, I, I, I know you've mentioned that last time,
00:40:38
but when I was watching the movie, I wasn't even thinking
00:40:40
about that, that this was one of his directorial credits because
00:40:44
he I just because like he, he he made the Resident Evil movies,
00:40:47
but he's always making like these other.
00:40:49
He made a recent movie with his wife, Mila Djokovic and Dave
00:40:52
Batista. He's.
00:40:55
Married to Mila. Jovovich Yeah, that's that's why
00:40:59
there's so many Resident Evil movies.
00:41:00
It's just like, it's just like what they do together.
00:41:04
It's just. Them daring the other one to
00:41:06
cave, it's like you're gonna star in another one and they're
00:41:08
like, you're gonna direct another one and then they both
00:41:10
get to set. They're like, Dang it, I was
00:41:11
hoping one of us would back out here.
00:41:13
We go again. Resident Evil 8 double impact.
00:41:18
It's just yeah, but there can't be either fun.
00:41:22
It's so it's it's interesting to go back and watch one of his
00:41:25
earlier films, actually. But yeah, Soldier was
00:41:29
interesting. I there's there's a lot of like
00:41:32
interesting elements to this movie.
00:41:36
And I will say, I think you were mentioning that it that it's not
00:41:38
what was not real received. I think it's a film that has
00:41:42
found an audience long after its release.
00:41:47
I think it's become sort of a cult film in a way.
00:41:50
OK. And I mean, to preview our, you
00:41:55
know, our scoring system at the end here.
00:41:57
I have no idea how I'm going to score this film because.
00:42:01
I'm in the same boat with mine today so that's that's a theme
00:42:03
for the day. But.
00:42:05
It's just, it's so interesting because I, it's rare that I see
00:42:11
a film like this where I, I can't fault it for much.
00:42:15
I feel like it didn't make any real egregious mistakes or
00:42:20
things that you would look at and be like, you know, this was
00:42:22
a real miss or, you know, it didn't execute on this in a
00:42:26
certain way. I feel like it did most things
00:42:29
right, but was not that entertaining.
00:42:33
So that it kind of puts it in a weird place for me, but there's
00:42:39
some very interesting production behind the scenes elements too.
00:42:43
That it that I found out after watching the movie that that
00:42:45
really intrigued me. So there's there's a lot going
00:42:48
on here. Yeah.
00:42:49
So the. Movie All I know I watched it
00:42:51
might to give some information about how I try to select these
00:42:54
movies. I never want to know too much
00:42:55
because I don't want the decision to be that well
00:42:57
informed. So I'm a fan of watching
00:42:59
trailers for stuff with the sound turned off.
00:43:01
And all I could tell from this one is just that it was a
00:43:04
science fiction movie and it pretty much looked like Kurt
00:43:07
Russell trying to play Master Chief from Halo.
00:43:10
And I assumed that would that would be kind of the main arc of
00:43:12
the movie. It's just like sci-fi action,
00:43:14
man. Yeah.
00:43:15
No, I mean, it's, it's appropriate that you bring up
00:43:17
Halo. That was my first thought at the
00:43:19
beginning of the movie is because he is, he's like, the
00:43:24
movie begins with him as like a baby and he's just taken
00:43:29
straight from the hospital and put into this like military
00:43:32
training program. Whose job do you think it is to
00:43:35
look at like the nursery filling newborn babies and be like,
00:43:37
which of these would be a good soldier?
00:43:39
And the other guy's like what? That's literally there were
00:43:42
people there was like there was like army guys going around.
00:43:45
I think like giving scores or something to these babies as to
00:43:49
like, you know, like it's an. 8 out of 10 baby.
00:43:52
Yeah, I think he literally goes up to to baby Kurt Russell and
00:43:56
puts like 1A. Like this is like S tier baby
00:44:01
right here. Like.
00:44:02
This is an ultra rare holographic baby.
00:44:05
Yeah, exactly. So I don't know how he knew that
00:44:08
or what he was basing that on. What an easy.
00:44:11
Job, no matter what happens if like if it doesn't pan out,
00:44:14
you're like, I mean, it was a baby, but I don't know what you
00:44:16
want me to do what do? You want from me, which that
00:44:19
actually gets into the plot of the movie.
00:44:20
So like it's it's that's interesting.
00:44:24
But yeah, basically to like roughly set it up, I guess it's
00:44:28
very like near future sci-fi. You know, it's it's not, it's
00:44:33
not Star Wars, Star Trek where we're on different like, you
00:44:36
know, traveling through space and visiting aliens and stuff
00:44:40
like that. This is like a near future
00:44:42
Earth. Is, is, is kind of what the film
00:44:45
is presenting and the beginning of the film.
00:44:49
It is, it is very much I was thinking of Halo because it's
00:44:51
this, it's kind of the same origin for that character where
00:44:55
like, you know, he's picked up at birth and put into this
00:44:57
soldier program and then he basically spends his whole life
00:45:00
doing this. We kind of get this montage of
00:45:02
him like growing up and a fun bit of trivia right off the bat
00:45:07
is like, you know, we see him as a baby and then like a 12 year
00:45:11
old or something. And then you know, he's like 18
00:45:14
and then like adult Kurt Russell.
00:45:16
And 12 year old Kurt Russell was played by his son Wyatt Russell,
00:45:23
now from Thunderbolts. From Thunderbolts.
00:45:25
Yeah, exactly. So I think this was his first
00:45:29
movie. See, that's a different
00:45:31
categorization. So when they got Kurt Russell,
00:45:33
they put 1A, but when they got to Wyatt Russell, they just put
00:45:35
nepo? Yes.
00:45:38
Exactly 1. A distinct military
00:45:41
classification Nepo baby. So that was fun.
00:45:46
That was just a fun little thing.
00:45:50
But then so he just leads to this really interesting
00:45:57
character for Kurt Russell because he spent his whole life
00:46:01
just killing people. You know, there's a montage of
00:46:04
him and all these different battles, these different wars,
00:46:06
you know, and he does not speak. He has no lines until maybe
00:46:14
30-40 minutes into the movie. Wow.
00:46:17
Yeah, it's, it's late into the film that we get like the first
00:46:21
line of dialogue from Kurt Russell.
00:46:23
And then even after that, he, he, he just, he speaks very
00:46:26
rarely. There's there's like 3 or 4
00:46:28
scenes where he actually talks. So it's it's interesting in that
00:46:33
regard. And I mean, Kurt Russell is huge
00:46:35
in this movie. Like he is jacked and I've never
00:46:40
seen him look like this before, you know, normally.
00:46:42
Kurt Russell. I must have been short lived.
00:46:44
Yes, and and this again, this this also right away it gets
00:46:47
into some of the interesting like production elements in the
00:46:49
movie because you know, I see him and I'm like, what's it
00:46:53
what's it called in Space Jam? I was like Kurt Russell's been
00:46:56
using some of Michael Jordan's secret stuff and I was like, all
00:47:02
right, so he was he's a little juiced up for this movie.
00:47:05
But then apparently, allegedly Kurt Russell is like in pre
00:47:11
production for this movie, knew that he had to get into a
00:47:15
certain shape for this character, but he did not want
00:47:18
to use steroids. And so he went on this like
00:47:22
intensive 18 month training regimen in order to bulk up for
00:47:27
the role. And it led to production getting
00:47:32
delayed for like a full year almost because, you know, they
00:47:36
they just needed him to get into shape for the role.
00:47:38
And then I think the director in between went to go work on a
00:47:40
different film. And that led to what I would
00:47:45
consider like really one of the only major, I guess something
00:47:48
you could look at is like an error or fault of the film is
00:47:51
the the visual effects are really bad.
00:47:55
It's certain points to the visual effects of like certain
00:48:00
landscapes because I guess the idea originally was, you know,
00:48:06
they had an idea in mind of this looking somewhat like a Western.
00:48:11
And so but like, you know, sort of a sci-fi Western.
00:48:14
And so they had all these exterior locations, you know,
00:48:18
that they had scouted and that's where they were going to film
00:48:19
the movie. But then because they had to
00:48:22
wait these 18 months for Kurt Russell to get in shape for the
00:48:26
role in the interim, like the El Nino hurricane apparently came
00:48:31
through and destroyed a lot of the filming locations that they
00:48:34
were going to use. And so they wound up having to
00:48:38
shoot a lot of those scenes that they intended to shoot there on
00:48:43
location on like sound stages. And they just wind up looking
00:48:47
really like wonky green screen, that is.
00:48:51
A bummer because I bet that the once they had were probably.
00:48:55
I mean, nothing holds up better in an old movie than a real
00:48:58
place, whereas anything that is completely generated like that
00:49:01
is just gonna look terrible. Exactly.
00:49:04
And it looks, yeah, it looks awful.
00:49:06
And I mean, it's, you know, it's, it's 1998 green screen
00:49:09
visual effects for these like massive landscapes as opposed
00:49:11
to, yes, just planet Earth, like outside.
00:49:17
Guys, I got this fascinating idea for a filming location
00:49:19
right over there, just pointing to the door, right?
00:49:22
There we had to get out. But anyway, to get into the
00:49:29
story a little bit, the villain of the film is introduced.
00:49:33
It's Jason Isaacs, who is probably most well known for
00:49:38
being Lucius Malfoy, I think in the Harry Potter films.
00:49:42
So he comes in and Kurt Russell's character, his name is
00:49:48
Todd. He has it tattooed on his face.
00:49:51
He's just on. His face.
00:49:53
On his face. It's like his it just says Todd
00:49:55
and then his service number. And then all of these soldiers
00:49:59
that went through this program have the same thing.
00:50:01
They just have first names that are tattooed on their face.
00:50:04
I thought you thought they were all named Todd.
00:50:08
Just Todd in different numbers. That would have been good too,
00:50:10
actually. Like Todd 117 Todd.
00:50:14
And they're just like, Sir, I feel like we didn't need the
00:50:16
first part that. Was pretty good actually.
00:50:21
You know what? It's funny though, because it
00:50:22
does kind of remind me, it was reminding me of a lot of other
00:50:26
things actually. You know, it's, it's like on
00:50:29
paper, I should really like this film because it was reminding me
00:50:32
of like Deep Space 9 and it was kind of reminding me of like the
00:50:37
Clone Wars TV series. Because, you know, we have these
00:50:41
these like perfect soldiers, you know, that are raised from
00:50:45
little babies that, you know, to be these murderers.
00:50:48
And they're they're captain. Whoever's in charge of the unit
00:50:51
is played by Gary Dusey, who's just always a very interesting
00:50:56
actor. Strange man, Very.
00:50:58
Strange man who always gives unique performances, but he's,
00:51:03
you know, he's in charge of their unit.
00:51:04
And then Jason Isaacs comes in and he's like, I have these new
00:51:08
soldiers that are genetically engineered, like they weren't
00:51:12
born as normal babies and then raised to be soldiers.
00:51:14
Like we like bred these soldiers to be better.
00:51:18
So your guys are obsolete and OK, you get yeah, which is
00:51:24
interesting. Like that's a good.
00:51:26
Deal. That's a good premise, yeah.
00:51:28
And so like they to demonstrate this, they're like, well, Todd's
00:51:32
our best guy, Todd number. 3465 Todd All 600 pants.
00:51:38
Not you, Todd, not you. Just we never found out a better
00:51:45
way to categorize. Pictures of talking to each
00:51:48
other too. Like what's up, Todd?
00:51:56
Anyway, Kurt Russell, Todd, they're like, he's our best guy.
00:52:00
So we're going to have him, you know, go up against one of your
00:52:02
genetically engineered guys and there's some other shenanigans,
00:52:06
but basically they fight each other and Kurt Russell.
00:52:10
And this ties back to what you were mentioning in, in Double
00:52:13
Impact, Kurt Russell while they're fighting, he like
00:52:16
somehow like he, he hasn't like he's trying to put like a
00:52:19
chokehold or something on this other soldier guy.
00:52:21
He's fighting. And the guy's like pulling him
00:52:23
off. And Kurt Russell like grabs one
00:52:25
of his eyes and kind of like basically rips one of the guy's
00:52:28
eyes out and like scars his face.
00:52:32
But then the other soldier guy, because they're, you know,
00:52:35
trying to show he's he's better. They're the genetically
00:52:39
engineered ones. This it's this interesting
00:52:42
scene, I feel like was difficult for them from like a visual
00:52:47
production standpoint because he like they're fighting like up on
00:52:52
this, these like chain catwalk things.
00:52:55
They're you know, they're high up and he kind of like elbows
00:52:59
Kurt Russell, you know, off his back.
00:53:01
And then Kurt Russell falls to the ground, you know, like lands
00:53:04
on his back, eyes wide open and it looks like he dies, right.
00:53:09
And so they're like, all right, well, get that body out of here.
00:53:14
Like Jason Isaacs is like, see, I told you.
00:53:16
But then he's all mad at his guy who was supposedly better.
00:53:18
And he's like, how do you let that inferior soldier like Scar,
00:53:22
you like that? You know he's like you're
00:53:24
useless now because you have no depth perception.
00:53:28
I got to throw a football now, yeah.
00:53:32
So it was just interesting because basically what happens
00:53:36
is, you know, they toss Kurt Russell's body onto this like
00:53:42
trash planet because they're like get rid of that.
00:53:46
And then they drop him off there and then he like wakes up from
00:53:49
being dead. Just thought this is the.
00:53:52
Unconscious gag again. So he somehow just wasn't
00:53:56
moving, but was not dead, it was just just a little concussion.
00:54:00
But his eyes, and This is why I was, I was watching it and I'm
00:54:02
like, I can tell they didn't know how to do this.
00:54:05
Because if they if they'd done it the other way and just, you
00:54:08
know, he fell on his back and closed his eyes, then the
00:54:11
audience would assume, oh, he's just unconscious.
00:54:13
He's not dead. And so why would they be
00:54:15
dragging his body out of here? But then the opposite also
00:54:19
doesn't work because it's like, oh, his eyes are wide open, he
00:54:24
looks like he's dead, he is dead.
00:54:26
Why does he wake up later? Like he's dead.
00:54:30
He is dead. What's the coroner's report?
00:54:34
Just like, you know what I mean? Like Todd, Todd, what's going
00:54:38
on, buddy? Like Todd?
00:54:39
Stay with us. Yeah.
00:54:40
Like, the whole thing is just a series of communications, right?
00:54:43
Did you get a dead Todd into the morgue today?
00:54:45
And he's like, yeah, every day there's a.
00:54:47
Lot of dead Todds, let me tell you.
00:54:49
You know how many dead Todds I go through every day?
00:54:53
But do you know what I mean, though?
00:54:54
It's like they didn't know how to show that.
00:54:56
That's a very. Important piece of your premise
00:54:58
to not be able to depict visually.
00:55:01
Yeah, exactly. And I and I, I can see running
00:55:04
into that wall of sorts because both neither option works in
00:55:08
terms of how you're going to communicate this to your
00:55:11
audience. You know you'd.
00:55:12
Be better off throwing him into some sort of thing that he
00:55:15
disappears into, like he collapses under a pile of
00:55:17
machinery, you know, just like something obscures him
00:55:21
completely and they're like, no way he could have survived that
00:55:23
as opposed to look at him, he's dead.
00:55:27
And like, literally they like drag him away and his eyes are
00:55:30
wide open and it's just like, what happened here?
00:55:33
What that what did he just reboot your brain?
00:55:35
Like I don't understand how this happened to you.
00:55:39
That beat would make sense for the genetically engineered
00:55:41
soldiers to have like inhuman qualities like that.
00:55:44
But Kurt Russell is just a holographic baby.
00:55:46
He's he's normal. Yep.
00:55:48
Yeah, he's just a super rare. So anyway, that's what sets the
00:55:52
plot off is they drop, they drop him off on this garbage planet
00:55:58
and just leave him there because they assume he's dead.
00:56:00
And then Kurt Russell is, you know, he finds a civilization of
00:56:06
people that are living here on this planet.
00:56:08
There are people that have been abandoned here for other reasons
00:56:10
or have escaped Earth because Earth is this war-torn place
00:56:15
and, you know, it's natural resources are destroyed and
00:56:17
stuff. And so he just starts living
00:56:19
with these people. And then essentially the, the,
00:56:24
what the plot evolves into is a sort of, I guess call like
00:56:30
almost like A7 samurai type thing, but just with Todd where
00:56:34
it's like the, you know, 7 Todd. 7.
00:56:36
Todd. But it's just one Todd.
00:56:40
Parentheses. It's just one Todd.
00:56:44
So it's him, obviously he makes friends with this community of
00:56:49
people. And then for some reason, I
00:56:53
don't really know why, some convoluted reason, Jason Isaacs
00:56:58
and Busey, they're like, oh, we got to bring our super soldier
00:57:01
guys to this trash planet for some training thing or
00:57:06
something. And Gary Busey's like, what if
00:57:07
there's people there and Jason Isaac's like, don't be silly,
00:57:10
that's stupid. But if there are, we're going to
00:57:11
kill them. So like they, they take their
00:57:17
guys there. They, you know, the Super
00:57:19
soldiers start killing this community that's kind of adopted
00:57:22
Kurt Russell and he has to fight back and and kill them all.
00:57:24
And it ends with him having another one V1 against the Super
00:57:28
soldier who's he took out at the beginning.
00:57:31
And then the Super soldier loses cuz he tries to swipe at him but
00:57:34
he has no depth perception he's just.
00:57:37
Embarrassingly inept and yeah, can't buy.
00:57:44
Him. Jesus.
00:57:45
Yeah, this movie. I wasn't.
00:57:47
We're making fun of it quite a bit.
00:57:48
But like, on paper, this premise ought to work just fine.
00:57:50
It's like everything. Million tropes with a like
00:57:54
passable, you know, leading actor, someone who I would trust
00:57:57
to play a character that doesn't really speak just cuz it's not a
00:58:00
Jean Claude situation. Kurt Russell's like an actor
00:58:03
before he's an action star. He should be able to do it.
00:58:05
So I'm curious what like, you know, I guess just the execution
00:58:09
fell apart even before the movie started filming.
00:58:12
Yes, I mean. It's just kind of disappointing
00:58:15
because I think they had, you know, some of their sets, some
00:58:18
of the production design looks really good.
00:58:19
And I think they had an idea for the whole movie to look like
00:58:22
that. And I think that would have
00:58:23
really elevated it. And it's not bad.
00:58:26
That's the thing. It's it's not bad.
00:58:27
It just is sort of lacking kind of a spark almost.
00:58:32
It's it's, I don't want to say boring because that's a really
00:58:35
reductive description, but it's hard when your main character
00:58:40
doesn't talk and is this very not only doesn't talk, but is
00:58:45
very emotionally stunted because that's the character he's
00:58:48
playing. Yeah, and there's some good
00:58:50
again, there's some good beats in there.
00:58:52
There's some good dialogue, some good performances.
00:58:54
There's an interesting kind of thing.
00:58:57
It's it's a trip that I don't like so much in movies, but you
00:59:01
see sometimes where it's like, so Kurt wrestles with this
00:59:05
community of people, but there's really specifically like one guy
00:59:08
found him out in the wasteland and this one family are the ones
00:59:12
that kind of really bring him in.
00:59:14
And it's a man, his wife and their young son.
00:59:16
And the man and his wife are portrayed as a very happy
00:59:20
couple. But, you know, you can see that
00:59:23
Kurt Russell is like, never. He's not used to being around
00:59:27
women, I guess, or something. And he's just very attracted to
00:59:30
this woman. And I'm like, oh, Kurt Russell's
00:59:31
going to ruin this man's family, isn't he?
00:59:34
Because he's a home wrecker. Exactly.
00:59:38
And they they have their their young son, but they're it's not
00:59:41
like there's anything, you know, they go out of their way to to
00:59:44
show that this is a happy, happy family unit.
00:59:46
And basically Fast forward to the end, like the guy winds up
00:59:49
dying And then like the movie ends with like Kurt Russell,
00:59:53
like carrying around this kid like it's his kid.
00:59:55
It's like you just stole some other man's family does.
00:59:58
He rename the kid Todd. Is that the frozen beat?
01:00:01
It's it's so funny because he and again, this it's like silly
01:00:06
in execution, but like makes sense narratively, I guess for
01:00:11
the character. But Kurt Russell, he ends every
01:00:14
sentence with Sir. Everybody he's talking to, he
01:00:17
talks to them like they're like a superior officer.
01:00:20
So like even when he's talking to the kid or like the man's
01:00:25
wife, I don't remember the name of her character, like he always
01:00:27
calls her Sir, you know, because he just doesn't know what else
01:00:30
to do. Like his literally his entire
01:00:32
life, he's just been this soldier.
01:00:33
He has no idea how to do anything else or how to interact
01:00:37
with people in any other way. And but that, and that's some of
01:00:40
the limited dialogue he actually speaks in the film, right?
01:00:43
That'd get annoying if he said it too much.
01:00:44
That almost seems like it's driving him not having a lot of
01:00:47
lines. Is this gimmick that he has to
01:00:48
say, Sir? Yeah.
01:00:50
Right. Every single time.
01:00:52
So yeah, it's just, it's interesting.
01:00:55
Like, it's almost at odds with itself in ways like that where
01:01:00
it's like, yeah, this makes total sense.
01:01:02
This is good sci-fi, but it's just it's sort of lacking this
01:01:07
entertainment factor throughout the film.
01:01:09
Because especially, like, the last act of the film is this,
01:01:12
you know, big action sequence where all these soldier guys are
01:01:15
coming in and Kurt Russell's kind of set up his like, Home
01:01:18
Alone traps all over the place to like you.
01:01:20
Know. Get rid of them all.
01:01:22
And that part's fine, you know? But it's like, that's really
01:01:26
outside of like him fighting that other soldier guy at the
01:01:28
beginning of the film and then that longer sequence at the end.
01:01:32
Those are the only action moments in the film, too.
01:01:36
Not that that in itself is a bad thing, but it also feels a
01:01:38
little bit unbalanced in terms of being like an action sci-fi
01:01:42
because it's like we're kind of telling this smaller story.
01:01:44
Yeah. That that almost sounds like
01:01:46
Miss Marketing to even frame it as an action movie, which it
01:01:49
definitely does. Yes, it's it's funny because I
01:01:52
was watching it and I mean this in a good way, but I was
01:01:54
watching it and I'm like, this feels like an episode of Deep
01:01:56
Space 9. I feel like Deep Space 9 would
01:01:58
tell this story really well in 48 minutes or however much time
01:02:04
they have per episode, you know? And that's great, that works as
01:02:08
an episode of Deep Space 9, but it almost needed something else
01:02:11
to make this like a feature film that's not connected to anything
01:02:17
outside of that. Which is a thing that people say
01:02:19
about because Deep Space 9 Star Trek.
01:02:21
I mean, a lot of the Star Trek movies that people don't like
01:02:25
would also work as episodes of their respective shows, but
01:02:27
there is an element missing to make them a movie.
01:02:29
Like, that's a different set of expectations for what that kind
01:02:32
of story would be. Yes, totally, totally.
01:02:36
But that does bring me to 1 of the interesting like production
01:02:40
elements as well. Is like Speaking of this not
01:02:44
being related to anything outside of, you know, this
01:02:47
story. This film was written by David
01:02:53
Webb Peoples is his name and he was the writer for Blade Runner,
01:02:59
the original Blade Runner. And really, yes, which this was
01:03:04
very interesting. I did not know any of this until
01:03:06
after I watched the film and it really kind of recontextualized
01:03:09
things in an interesting way. But it's the writer for Blade
01:03:12
Runner. He was writing this film while
01:03:15
Blade Runner was being produced. And According to him and Paul WS
01:03:19
Anderson, this takes place in the same world as Blade Runner.
01:03:23
This is the same universe. This track, so I don't know if
01:03:27
you saw this, I didn't want to say it before you saw the movie,
01:03:30
but the reason I was introduced to Soldier was because of like a
01:03:32
Reddit post or something that there's this blinking you miss
01:03:36
it shot where they pull up his military profile and it has a
01:03:39
bunch of references to other sci-fi stuff.
01:03:41
Like it says that this Kurt Russell character was present at
01:03:44
one of the battles that the guy mentions in the monologue at the
01:03:47
end of Blade Runner. Yeah, he's in two, two of the
01:03:50
battles and and and you see those battles, they're part of
01:03:52
the montage at the beginning of the movie and it'll pop up on
01:03:55
the bottom of the screen like what it is.
01:03:57
And yeah, it's it's it's battles or wars that they mentioned in
01:04:01
Blade Runner that are then shown here in this movie.
01:04:05
And there's more production elements.
01:04:07
Sorry, go ahead, I was. Just going to say there's more
01:04:09
production elements that tie it to Blade Runner 2.
01:04:11
There's there's ships like spaceships that are from Blade
01:04:15
Runner are seen in this movie. And there's even it's not
01:04:21
clearly stated, but somewhat speculated that these new super
01:04:24
soldiers that they made are replicants and that's why they
01:04:27
have these sort of enhanced abilities, which is kind of like
01:04:30
how the the replicants were in the original Blade Runner.
01:04:34
It's also funny because Blade Runner is a movie that I would
01:04:38
describe as very good, but in its own way kind of slow and
01:04:42
boring. Like, it makes some similar
01:04:45
plotting mistakes that ought to take away from your enjoyment of
01:04:47
the film, but it's just saved by the, like, kind of meditative
01:04:52
atmosphere of the whole story. But it's in a similar place to
01:04:55
Soldier where it feels like it's missing elements that you ought
01:04:57
to have to tell like a fleshed out story.
01:05:00
And I think this one, without that saving grace, just falls as
01:05:03
flat as Blade Runner easily could have.
01:05:05
Yeah, totally. Yeah.
01:05:07
And I mean, to bring it back to Soldier, yeah.
01:05:08
It's just like there's films you can look at like, I mean, double
01:05:13
impact, it's like you look at double impact, you're like, OK,
01:05:15
there's here's some things that could have made this a better
01:05:17
film. Here's some things that were
01:05:19
that you could objectively say were mistakes or bad choices,
01:05:23
like whatever. But with this movie, it's like,
01:05:26
honestly, I feel like they executed pretty well on what
01:05:30
they were trying to do. You know, it like there's no
01:05:34
glaring like technical issues outside of the the kind of poor
01:05:38
green screen effects, you know, decent performances that the IT
01:05:42
was like it was an interesting concept.
01:05:45
It just was lacking something that's kind of hard to put your
01:05:50
finger on what it is like what it would have taken to kind of
01:05:55
bring this movie around. But I think for some people, you
01:05:59
know, like I was saying earlier, I think it's found an audience
01:06:02
that does really appreciate it, which is interesting too.
01:06:05
I think science fiction, more than most genres, runs the risk
01:06:08
of falling into that kind of middling, boring territory.
01:06:12
And I think there's like some obvious reasons from that from a
01:06:14
storytelling perspective. Like, so much of what a film
01:06:17
wants you to feel is based on setting up expectations and then
01:06:21
subverting them or doing something to create a reaction.
01:06:23
And that's so much easier to do if the movie is primarily
01:06:27
grounded in concepts and imagery that a person is familiar with
01:06:31
or a science fiction definitionally has to make the
01:06:34
whole space and tell you so much lore upfront.
01:06:38
But this one, yeah, it's an action movie.
01:06:42
It was marketed as an action movie.
01:06:43
It's got Kurt Russell in it. Like, you need stuff to happen.
01:06:47
You need some double impact in here or else it's just never
01:06:49
going to work. Yeah, and I mean, again, also to
01:06:52
the movies credit it, it, it cut out so much unnecessary things
01:06:57
that I think another film might have done where, you know, there
01:06:59
was no opening credits scroll like in the year 2049, Earth
01:07:05
filled, you know, none of that. It was just like, it just jumped
01:07:08
right into it and it didn't dumb itself down to its audience at
01:07:10
all. But, you know, your main
01:07:12
character is not even speaking for most of the film.
01:07:14
And it just, it doesn't like, hold your hand through that.
01:07:17
It just is like, yeah, like here's what's happening.
01:07:21
It's telling it all visually as like right off the gate, like,
01:07:25
you know, but it's very clear. It's very easy to understand,
01:07:28
you know, this sort of sci-fi space that you're in.
01:07:32
And at no point really does it, you know, like I said, do what
01:07:36
I, I've seen other films do where it would try and like over
01:07:39
explain. Like, like you're saying with
01:07:40
John Claude's accent, we don't need to explain that the man has
01:07:43
an accent. You know, it's like you can just
01:07:45
understand what's happening in front of you.
01:07:48
So yeah, because you need to go ahead.
01:07:50
I was just. Going to say there's a lot to
01:07:52
give the movie credit for in that regard.
01:07:54
It's like I appreciate it more than I liked it, if that makes
01:07:57
sense. Oh, absolutely.
01:07:59
There's a ton of movies that that fall into that camp that's
01:08:02
curious. Any other like major beats you
01:08:06
wanted to talk about with it or do you think that kind of sums
01:08:08
up your your feelings on Soldier?
01:08:11
I mean, you know, I think it does.
01:08:13
There's there's other things that happened throughout the
01:08:16
film that, you know, were interesting.
01:08:20
There was like there was a lot of snakes.
01:08:24
There was. What does that mean?
01:08:28
There was. There was just this whole
01:08:31
recurring thing. I skipped over it completely,
01:08:33
but there was so that, you know, this family, this this community
01:08:37
at large, but specifically this family of three that takes Kurt
01:08:40
Russell in. You know, they have this young
01:08:41
boy who who also doesn't speak. He he's, you know, like Kurt
01:08:45
Russell, like Kurt Russell can't speak.
01:08:46
But this kid like, I guess at one point, like they're
01:08:51
gardening, they're on this like trash planet and they're so
01:08:53
they're like trying to, you know, grow food in this little
01:08:55
makeshift garden that they have. And I guess this planet is
01:08:59
covered in snakes and so like. OK, so it's a junk planet full
01:09:03
of snakes, yes. And so like a snake shows up
01:09:06
and, you know, like one of the, the woman in this family, she
01:09:09
like kills it. And she explains to Kurt
01:09:11
Russell, she was like, you know, our son, he was bit by one of
01:09:13
these snakes when he was really young.
01:09:14
And he hasn't spoken since then. And so then, like, later in the
01:09:17
film, like, Kurt Russell and the kid are together.
01:09:20
And like a snake comes into the room.
01:09:23
And Kurt Russell's like, trying to show the kid, like, how to
01:09:26
smash it with a shoe. He's trying.
01:09:29
Like, he's like, he's trying. He's like, you know,
01:09:31
pantomiming. He's like, he has a shoe and
01:09:33
he's like, slamming it on the ground.
01:09:34
He's like, pointing at the kid and the snake, like, you know,
01:09:37
kill that snake with a shoe. And then the parents walk in
01:09:39
and, like, what are you doing? Why are you, like, trying to,
01:09:41
you know, like, get the snake out of here?
01:09:42
And So what this leads to later is this couple is in bed later.
01:09:49
And this is after this is another ploppy that kind of
01:09:51
skipped over because it's resolved pretty quickly.
01:09:53
But at one point, Kurt Russell, you know, he has like severe
01:09:55
PTSD from his experiences and he's like training while he's in
01:09:59
this community at one point and somebody kind of comes up behind
01:10:02
him and he like turns around and starts like choking the guy out.
01:10:04
So they're like, you were crazy. You got to go.
01:10:07
You got to go out. And go.
01:10:08
Out. Yeah.
01:10:10
So he gets kind of kicked out of the community at one point.
01:10:12
And while he's gone, the couples are in bed and a snake is coming
01:10:16
to the bed. And I'm like, this is the third
01:10:18
instance of snake. I was like, at this point I'm
01:10:20
like, this is too many snakes. But the snake is crawling in
01:10:25
their bed and it's about to bite one of them.
01:10:27
And then the kid grabs the snake, pulls it out of bed and
01:10:30
smashes it with a shoe like Kurt Russell showed him to.
01:10:33
And then immediately the husband is like, you know what?
01:10:36
We're wrong. I got to go get Kurt Russell.
01:10:38
We got to bring him back. I had no idea he had such
01:10:42
advanced shoe smashing technology.
01:10:44
That he taught her son how to kill the snake.
01:10:46
I love him. You know what?
01:10:47
You stay here, wife. I'm going to go die.
01:10:49
And then Kurt Russell will come back without me.
01:10:51
It'll be great. Well, he.
01:10:52
Dies going to fetch him, yeah. Yeah, because that's when the
01:10:55
Super soldiers show up as well. He's out there bringing Kurt
01:10:57
Russell back and they they show up and they just start blasting
01:11:00
people and they kill this guy is.
01:11:03
Any of that with the voices and the snakes, Is that a metaphor
01:11:06
that I'm not getting or is this just like noise for the plot?
01:11:10
Honestly, I don't know. I mean, I like there's some,
01:11:14
there was something kind of, I think about the facts that Kurt
01:11:18
Russell wasn't like Kurt Russell spoke throughout the film, just
01:11:21
very rarely. But I think there was something
01:11:23
about the fact that he didn't talk and the kid didn't talk and
01:11:26
there was a fourth instance of snakes where he.
01:11:29
Super. Where the Super soldiers are all
01:11:32
there attacking. He throws one of them into a
01:11:35
giant pit of snakes and it looks like, you know, Raiders.
01:11:38
Like why did it have to be snakes and then the snake and if
01:11:41
any? Movie has earned the right to
01:11:43
say why did it have to be snakes?
01:11:44
It's this one. Yeah, and, and and you know
01:11:46
what? I almost completely didn't
01:11:48
mention it at all, but they were all over the film.
01:11:49
There was a lot of snakes. That is such a buried lead in
01:11:53
this movie. It's not like there was a simple
01:11:55
beginning, middle, end and you're like, oh, we filled the
01:11:57
interim time with mostly just snake content.
01:12:01
Yeah, exactly, though So again, it's an interesting film.
01:12:05
There's a lot to discuss here. I like that we don't fill in all
01:12:11
the gaps. There's stuff a double impact
01:12:12
too that I didn't cover. So I'm just picturing someone
01:12:15
who got this far in and went, I guess I'll watch Soldier anyway.
01:12:17
And then they got to the end. They're like, why didn't he talk
01:12:19
about those snakes? Yeah, there was a lot of them.
01:12:24
There was a lot of a lot of snakes on this trash planet.
01:12:28
I don't know why. Maybe somebody just dumped a
01:12:30
boatload of snakes off one day. Like we don't need like what the
01:12:34
trash. Was.
01:12:35
Yeah, just. Anyway, leave those there.
01:12:38
That's for Todd. That's for Todd.
01:12:43
It's become. Like part of their culture that
01:12:45
they say things in general, just like, you know what they say.
01:12:47
Another day, another Todd. Oh, also one more thing.
01:12:50
All the other Todd's. So the whose names are not Todd,
01:12:54
they all have their own names, but disagree.
01:12:57
Yeah, agree to disagree on that one.
01:13:00
But they so immediately got like replaced by these super soldiers
01:13:07
that they became like, it was just this interesting beat where
01:13:12
like all of them were still with this military organization.
01:13:16
But you know, Jason Isaacs and his crew are like, we don't need
01:13:19
you anymore. Like you, when we get to this
01:13:21
planet, we're sending you guys out there without weapons to
01:13:24
just like set up like machinery or something.
01:13:28
You know, they're like, you're just grunts now.
01:13:30
You're not even soldiers anymore.
01:13:32
But again, it was interesting, you know, it's like, oh, OK,
01:13:34
this, you know, because like, they're all like, Kurt Russell
01:13:36
where it's like they have emotions.
01:13:38
They are human beings, but they just don't know how to process
01:13:41
or deal with any of this because all they've ever been is these
01:13:45
soldiers, you know? Is that the imagery we're trying
01:13:49
to get is about like finding your voice while living in a
01:13:53
system that is trying to like oppress you and control your
01:13:57
every move? Possibly, I mean, because
01:14:01
there's there is one good line of dialogue too, between Kurt
01:14:04
Russell and the the wife that in this family unit where she's
01:14:10
just talking to him and she was just like, what do you think
01:14:12
about, you know, and he doesn't know how to answer.
01:14:14
She's like, sure, you know, surely you must be.
01:14:16
You must think things, Todd like.
01:14:21
Like the worst first date ever. You surely you think things,
01:14:24
Todd. And she's like, what about
01:14:28
feelings? She was like, you know, do you
01:14:30
have feelings or emotions? And, you know, at first he
01:14:33
doesn't know how to answer. But then after a minute, he just
01:14:35
goes, you know, he's like fear. And she's like, you know, what
01:14:41
do you mean fear? She's like, all the time.
01:14:42
He's like, yeah, He's like constant, he's like fear and
01:14:46
discipline, like that's all I feel.
01:14:48
And, you know, so, so she just feels really bad for him in that
01:14:51
moment 'cause he's just this like kind of child almost, you
01:14:56
know, that just doesn't know how to deal with these things.
01:14:58
And at the end of the movie, once they kill all the Super
01:15:01
soldier guys, they, they bring all the other Todds with them to
01:15:06
join their little community too. So they they all live happily
01:15:11
ever to oh, they actually blow the planet up at the end.
01:15:13
I'm I'm bearing a lot of leads here.
01:15:15
They what? They can't go home with them,
01:15:17
but they blew the planet up. They so they steal at the end of
01:15:20
the movie, they steal Jason Isaac's ship that he brought all
01:15:24
these super soldiers there on and and cuz I guess.
01:15:28
Oh yeah. So once Jason Isaacs realizes
01:15:31
that Kurt Russell is out there killing all of his super soldier
01:15:34
guys, he's like, screw this. Like we have a a planet
01:15:37
destroyer bomb on this ship. He's like, leave that here and
01:15:42
we're leaving. So that's what he was sending
01:15:44
the other Todds out to do was to to set up this bomb.
01:15:48
OK. And so they would, they wind up
01:15:51
taking the ship and leaving Jason and Isaacs and his crew
01:15:54
outside when the planet explodes.
01:15:56
And then they like, fly away and they, you know, find a new home
01:15:59
to live on together or something.
01:16:01
Sounds like the end of Thor Ragnarok.
01:16:04
A little bit, yeah. Yeah, pretty similar to that
01:16:06
actually. So at the end, at the start of
01:16:08
the next movie, Thanos shows up and then they all get killed
01:16:10
anyway. Thor doesn't, so I assume all
01:16:13
the other Todds will die, but Todd number all the.
01:16:15
Other Todds. Russell Todd will be fine.
01:16:22
OK, well I OK, I guess I almost stopped you too soon because I
01:16:25
did not clearly did not yet know enough about a soldier before we
01:16:30
got into the snakes and Todds of it all.
01:16:32
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great stuff in there, great
01:16:35
stuff in Soldier. Oh.
01:16:38
Geez. OK, well, that was a lot.
01:16:45
Why don't, why don't we move on to scores?
01:16:46
Because I think that's going to be a sticking point for both of
01:16:49
us this week. Yeah, you have to go first, so.
01:16:52
Yeah. Oh, geez.
01:16:55
So double impact. God, it feels like a lifetime
01:16:57
ago we were talking about double impact.
01:16:59
Double impact. We're so young.
01:17:01
We were. So young, that was the pre
01:17:02
taught days double impact I went into with very low expectations,
01:17:07
which is to say that I was probably going to like it unless
01:17:11
it really found a way to be like super boring or offensive
01:17:15
somehow. And it did get kind of close
01:17:17
with all the homophobic slurs. But again, you, you, you almost
01:17:20
have to brace for that when you watch a movie that's this old.
01:17:23
So I was torn the whole way through of like, what do I say
01:17:27
about this? Because now that we're like 4
01:17:29
episodes in, our scores have become relative.
01:17:31
You know, I mean if you give, I think I gave soap dish a three
01:17:36
last time, right? Yeah, which I think is what I
01:17:39
also gave. Grifters.
01:17:42
Rifters Yeah, in. Episode 2.
01:17:44
So that's currently our bottom, like our lowest ranking films.
01:17:48
And I'd be hard pressed to say that I'd like to double impact
01:17:51
less than either of those. I mean, I didn't see Grifters,
01:17:54
but I liked it more than Soap Dish because I was bound to.
01:17:57
I like martial arts action movies.
01:18:00
So I'm tempted to say that my score for Double Impact is a
01:18:03
four. It could.
01:18:05
It's lower. Than I thought it.
01:18:06
Could easily have gone lower because really it loses a lot of
01:18:11
every point that it gains by just doing something strange or
01:18:14
poorly. I mean the I think one of the
01:18:17
biggest things I forgot to talk about is that the film
01:18:19
cinematography ought to be really cool because they're
01:18:22
filming on location in Hong Kong and they're shooting a lot of
01:18:25
scenes out on like the port side of Hong Kong with like boats and
01:18:29
stuff. And it should look really neat.
01:18:31
But in so many of the scenes, they're so concerned about the
01:18:34
fact that they can't convincingly show you 2 Jean
01:18:36
Claude's at once that the whole thing feels kind of boxed in.
01:18:40
It's like unconfident in how it is shot.
01:18:43
And I think that's one of the biggest things that between that
01:18:46
the 2 Jean Claude's barely speaking to each other and the
01:18:48
lack of like thoughtful choreographed martial arts
01:18:51
sequences, it just doesn't hit the marks I was expecting it to.
01:18:56
So I do think a four is as as much as I can give for double
01:18:59
impact. That's.
01:19:00
Fair. That's fair.
01:19:01
I like I said, that is lower than I thought you would give
01:19:04
it, but it sounds like it it earned A4.
01:19:08
It would have been A5 if not for some of the weird stuff like the
01:19:12
horrible sex scene and the homophobia and stuff like those
01:19:15
things. Collectively I was like, you
01:19:16
can't, you can't get by unscathed after having all of
01:19:19
this in here. Sure, sure.
01:19:21
OK, 4 for double impact. Is it my turn?
01:19:27
Yeah, now. You know what else to go?
01:19:31
Todd, what do you think? Todd Todd, What were your
01:19:33
thoughts on Sweeney Todd? How many snakes would you give
01:19:36
this, Todd? I'm just gonna make Todd watch
01:19:40
Snakes on a Plane and tell us his thoughts about it.
01:19:43
But he won't speak, so he would just stare.
01:19:45
He can't. Speak.
01:19:46
Yeah, surely you must have thoughts about this, Todd.
01:19:49
He just says feel. It's valid.
01:19:54
OK, Soldier, man, it's a tough one.
01:19:57
Soldier is like, it's like it's more interesting than it is
01:20:01
good. But.
01:20:04
Yeah, I. Do appreciate a lot about it.
01:20:08
So that puts it in a sort of interesting middle ground, which
01:20:12
is not like I feel like satisfying score wise.
01:20:17
I feel like I I do like to be more try and be more definitive
01:20:21
when I can, but it feels kind of like a six.
01:20:25
Oh see now this is the opposite. I thought you'd go way lower.
01:20:28
No, no Soldier was again good in its own way because I'm thinking
01:20:34
back to how I scored Gamera. Like I gave Gamera a 10 out of
01:20:37
10 because. Because it was, obviously.
01:20:39
Yeah, it was awesome. And obviously there were things
01:20:42
that it, you know, it it, it succeeded at exactly what it was
01:20:47
trying to do. It knew exactly what it wanted
01:20:49
to be. And I think in a lot of ways
01:20:51
Soldier did as well. I think it succeeded in
01:20:55
executing like the the concept of the film.
01:20:59
It just it wasn't as awesome as Gamera.
01:21:02
So I feel like it lands, you know, like I, I'm going to say
01:21:09
6. I almost had 7, which I know we
01:21:10
made fun of seven in our first episode.
01:21:14
Is this sort of a non committal score?
01:21:16
But this listen. If if you give a movie A7, we
01:21:18
have to have a whole separate episode about it because that is
01:21:20
the Holy Grail of this show is to find an actual 7 out of 10
01:21:24
movie this. One feels really close.
01:21:26
I, I feel like the closest almost you can get to being a 7
01:21:29
out of 10 movie is something like this where it's, it's like
01:21:34
didn't make enough egregious errors or mistakes or offensive
01:21:38
in any way, but still fell short of being a great film or great
01:21:46
for what it is. So this one's close.
01:21:49
I was between 6:00 and 7:00. I'm going to say 6 for Soldier,
01:21:53
though. I do appreciate it though.
01:21:55
It's it's a strong six. That's a strong six.
01:21:59
It had 7 in its sights, but it couldn't get there.
01:22:02
Yeah, well, you know, it had no depth perception.
01:22:09
OK, so that's double impact is a four out of 10.
01:22:12
Soldier is a six out of 10. Oh, that means I win.
01:22:16
Oh, you do. Good for you, I.
01:22:17
Did we're tied now on number of wins?
01:22:21
Because I think the films you picked won episodes one and two
01:22:24
and now I have won episodes 3 and 4.
01:22:26
Cool. All right, let me.
01:22:27
See where that puts us for total scores though, because again,
01:22:32
I'll meet your double feature. We care about who wins the day,
01:22:35
but this is about who wins the war.
01:22:37
So collectively, across 4 episodes, we've watched 4 movies
01:22:42
each. The total review scores, which I
01:22:44
guess it'd be a total out of 40 at this point, you if you earned
01:22:48
A4, you'd be at 23 points, and if I got a six, I'd be at 25
01:22:53
points. So still pretty close in the
01:22:55
season 1 rankings overall, yeah. Yeah, Anybody's game.
01:22:58
Anybody. 'S game, which really could have
01:23:00
easily not been the case 4 episodes in.
01:23:02
This could have been very stratified by now, but we're
01:23:04
still close. Yeah.
01:23:05
Yeah. I mean, going into this week, we
01:23:06
were tied. So that's pretty fascinating.
01:23:09
Unintentionally, just for the record.
01:23:11
Yeah, yeah. No, we're not gaming the scores
01:23:13
for drama. We actually just.
01:23:18
OK, let's take a look then at our recommendations for episode
01:23:21
5 of the show. Again, we're still in our
01:23:24
forgotten 90s theme because I won the episode today.
01:23:27
I guess I go first. So your pick Frank for next time
01:23:31
is going to be 1992's Deep cover starring Laurence Fishburne and
01:23:37
Jeff Goldblum. Oh, that's an interesting duo.
01:23:41
Guess what? That's the only thing I know
01:23:42
about the movie. I saw that it had those two in
01:23:45
it. I think it's something about
01:23:47
crime. I don't know, but I like the
01:23:49
idea. I like the idea of those two as
01:23:52
an on screen pairing, as two leads.
01:23:54
I think Jeff Goldblum's the bad guy and that just sounds
01:23:57
interesting. It has good reviews.
01:23:58
So it's not a it's not like a a Hail Mary.
01:24:01
I think this one I'm confident will be pretty good.
01:24:03
I. Don't know if I've ever seen
01:24:04
Jeff Goldblum. I guess he was an antagonist in
01:24:08
that one Thor movie maybe. Yeah, that was.
01:24:11
Like a comedy antagonist, I think this one might be more
01:24:14
straightforward villain. The title again.
01:24:16
Deep cover. What was the year?
01:24:18
Deep Cover 1992. This is another one too that
01:24:21
maybe is not like completely under the radar.
01:24:23
I believe it had a Criterion Collection release.
01:24:26
And that's actually part of what drew me to it is that the
01:24:28
Criterion release cover for the film looks awesome.
01:24:31
It's just this interesting shot of Laurence Fishburne covered in
01:24:33
like kind of like blue and magenta lighting.
01:24:36
It's just very dynamic. OK, cool.
01:24:38
I mean, I've never heard of it, so that's close.
01:24:41
Enough. If we forgot it, it's forgotten.
01:24:43
Yeah, yeah. Or, I think honestly, isn't the
01:24:45
rule just that we've never even never seen it?
01:24:48
Well, that's the rule for the show is that we haven't seen it.
01:24:49
But the vague premise for season 1 is just somewhat overlooked
01:24:53
films from the 90s, and I think this counts.
01:24:56
Totally, totally. OK, deep cover.
01:25:00
OK, how about you? I got nothing so let me Google
01:25:03
I. Forgot.
01:25:05
I forgot you said you didn't have one ready.
01:25:07
OK, this is. Literally nothing A.
01:25:10
Thrilling look behind the scenes.
01:25:11
I can't believe you don't have a list.
01:25:13
I have like 20 movies written down already that I could
01:25:15
recommend dude. I, I, I have no memory of this
01:25:19
place. OK, we stop recording and I just
01:25:21
like just walk away from it all. I give you a call on Discord
01:25:27
every two weeks and you're like, I wonder what he wants to talk
01:25:29
about. And I'm like, no, I want to
01:25:32
leave this all in by the way. No, no.
01:25:43
Welcome back from what I believe was a fade out, fade back up.
01:25:47
Now that Frank has found his film for episode 5, we'll.
01:25:50
See. Leave it all in.
01:25:51
How long did that take? 5 minutes on the clock I think
01:25:53
I. Did.
01:25:54
Another five. Yeah.
01:25:55
Oh. OK, I'll just make the audience
01:25:57
wait for five uninterrupted minutes while you while you
01:26:00
figure it out. Yeah, yeah, good.
01:26:02
Just. Build this Credits See.
01:26:06
OK, I got one. OK, next.
01:26:09
Time feature What am I watching? 1996 Everyone Says I Love You, a
01:26:19
musical romantic comedy directed by Woody Allen.
01:26:24
OK, that he's a pick. We talked about how sometimes we
01:26:29
pick like the virtually the same type of movie.
01:26:31
But something tells me that deep cover and whatever that title is
01:26:35
you just said are not going to be anything alike.
01:26:38
Will stay tuned. Will somebody get their eye
01:26:40
ripped out or something like this week?
01:26:44
All right, I, I, to my knowledge, have never seen a
01:26:47
film made by Woody Allen. I don't think I have.
01:26:50
Either I really do not think I've seen a single one of his
01:26:52
films I. Think that's because despite
01:26:54
being a very influential filmmaker, by the time we were
01:26:56
coming up into choosing movies to watch, the prevailing
01:27:00
sentiment about Woody Allen is that he's kind of a creep.
01:27:02
So Yep. I haven't.
01:27:04
Felt like compelled to go back and watch any of those films,
01:27:07
but that does make it a blind spot.
01:27:09
So what? What did you say it's called?
01:27:11
It's called Everyone Says I Love You musical.
01:27:14
Romantic. I mean, I like the idea of it.
01:27:16
So do the next time when we discuss the intricacies of how
01:27:20
good the movie is versus how good of a person Woody Allen is.
01:27:25
Spoiler it's not very not. Good.
01:27:28
This movie has an interesting cast, so you have that to look
01:27:31
forward to. Yeah, You know, if they forgive
01:27:34
them, I forgive them. Well, I mean.
01:27:42
Slow down. It's so funny because I The
01:27:46
funny thing is too, I don't know what he's done.
01:27:48
I genuinely don't know what the oh.
01:27:50
You don't. Oh, I haven't idea.
01:27:51
I have an idea of what he's done, but he's just done.
01:27:54
A like he's just done like a cork board of like
01:27:57
unmentionable. So just I thought.
01:27:59
You really see he's on a list, He's just on a list.
01:28:02
It's all it's fine just on a list.
01:28:04
He has to introduce himself when he moves into the neighborhood.
01:28:09
Hi, I'm excited there's a TuneIn in two weeks for a controversial
01:28:13
episode of Me You. Total feature A very special
01:28:16
episode. Very special episode.
01:28:18
Yeah, Awesome. OK, that's a good pick.
01:28:22
Thanks so much for joining me today.
01:28:23
And we will see everyone in two weeks.
01:28:26
Bye. Can't keep doing that, It's
01:28:31
delayed by. Coming up next.
01:28:37
It's deep cover. Followed by Everyone says I love
01:28:41
You on Meet Your double feature.